Do you worry about standing out, being different? Or about people not accepting you for who you are? Feel anxious about going to social gatherings, or being in large groups where you don’t know everyone?
If you answered “Yes,” to any of these questions, you may have low self-esteem - and you aren’t alone - many, many psychics and intuitives struggle with this.
As a sensitive, you are sensitive to the judgments, emotional projections, feelings and concerns around you.
As a psychic, you often know the hard truth - before anyone else - forcing you to confront the difficult realities of things, while others can happily remain aloof. As an intuitive, people likely look to you as the one who can help, the one who always knows what to say, the one who has the best advice.
Feeling the emotions of others, knowing the truth of things before others, and being the go-to girl or guy for guidance can be quite difficult. You can question yourself, ask, why am I the one everyone relies on? Is this even warranted - am I as wise as they all say I am? What did I do to deserve this title?
Well, good news.
You don’t have to suffer or feel bad about yourself forever - thankfully, there are techniques that can help you build your self-esteem and help you feel better about yourself.
Work with being the ‘different one
When I was first coming out of the psychic closet, I was concerned I was going to be the different one - everywhere I went. No matter where I went, who I socialized with, what party I was invited to - I was the one with this weird thing. The one who didn’t fit in with everyone else.
The truth is, no matter what you do or what you say, there's always going to be someone who doesn't like it.
It doesn’t matter if you just ordered a ham sandwich with spicy mayo or you asked for your ketchup on the side.
Anytime you are doing something different than how each person would individually do it - it can be considered weird, obscure, or not normal to them. And guess what? We’re all different. I clean dishes differently than my sister, and when she watches me do it, sometimes she makes a face. Your boyfriend mixes cheese onto his pasta uniquely from the way that you do, and perhaps you think that's odd.
The point is - it doesn’t matter if you’re a psychic or if you’re a hairdresser or both, if the person you are talking to or interacting with doesn’t do one of those things - it’s different. You are not different from everyone else because you are a psychic or a medium, you are different from everyone else because everyone of us is different from everyone else.
We’re each unique souls. There is only one of each of us. Going to a party? Worried about being the only sensitive there? Won’t have anyone to talk to? Someone else, also going to the party, is worried about something else that might make them different, and not worth talking to. We all struggle with the fear of, “Will they like me?”
So, next time you are convinced you are the only one out there like you - you are. But it’s not because you’re psychic. You’re probably also the only one who grew up in your small town, or who went to Rome to study abroad in college, or secretly loves to eat whole wheels of Brie cheese when you feel bad, or enjoys re-runs of Dr. Who when you are sick, or whatever.
There are lots of things that make you different. There are lots of things that make everyone different.
Here’s the beauty of it: difference, uniqueness is what we all have in common.
Next time you fear being different, remember, we all fear it. So why not love it instead? It's unique, it’s interesting to talk about, and it’s part of what makes you, you.
Whose anxiety is this, anyway?
Wanting to compare yourself to others, or feeling nervous you might say something that makes other people respond in a less than favorable reaction? Do you struggle with generalized anxiety, nervousness, or emotions that you don’t understand, when going into a social situation?
Consider, just for a moment, that these aren’t your emotions - you’re psychic, remember? You pick up on energy, remember?
Your ‘anxiety’ may actually be misplaced emotions that belong to other people (it's also a sign of mediumship), and you are picking those up.
Take a minute, and tune in. Is this accurate?
Are you able to sense that this energy is not yours?
If so, send it back.
To do this, imagine pushing your hand out, away from your body, pushing the energy away from you, as though you are rejecting a gift. “No, thank you, I’m not interested in receiving this.” Say that, within your mind, and push away these emotions. Breathe, and feel better.
I suggest always ‘checking in’ to see if these feelings are in fact, belonging to another owner - and you are simply picking them up on your psychic radar - because more often than not that's the case.
Reel it in, you’re enough
As a psychic intuitive, you are able to pick on the needs of others.
This is a wonderful ability that makes you a natural healer, and it assists you in developing love, compassion, and empathy. However, if not controlled, you may feel the need to help everyone! You want people to be happy, satisfied and fulfilled around you, so when you feel and notice that they aren’t, you pick up on what a need of theirs might me, and then offer to do it or help them meet this need.
This can result in an outpouring of love and assistance and care, and it can also run you dry. Each and every one of us must meet the needs of our own souls, independent of others.
Though we can complement and learn from each other - we each have our own lessons to learn. The goal is to offer help only when you are Divinely called to, not when you sense an imbalance around you and want to correct it.
Chances are, you may not be leaving enough energy for yourself, in the helping of others as your main role, and also, you may not even really be helping. No matter how much you pour a shower of love on another, if they don’t love themselves or their own lives from the inside, they will still be unhappy - until they learn how to do that.
Step back, and allow others to find their own happiness.
You are doing enough by just being you - a model, a guiding light, a perceptive reflection - helping others on their path by simply existing in their lives.
Build Self Trust with a List
More often than most, you rely on intuitive guidance and the wisdom of Spirit to make your decisions - and this requires a great deal of self-trust.
While you’ve never been steered wrong, it’s definitely not something tangible that you can point to as ‘credible source’, in explanations to those around you, as to why you did certain things, certain ways. Even without explaining it to anyone, you may doubt what you receive as real, wondering if you are making it up if any of it is even true. And there’s no way to really ever know - because often when you get intuitive guidance, it’s questioned, and then falls away from you, by the wayside.
Thus, there’s no record of guidance that you received at all - whether or not it was accurate. So, building a self-trust is difficult, because you can’t remember the last intuitive hit you got, let alone if it was right or helpful to someone. Learn more about how to trust your intuitive abilities here.
Make a list - in a word document, with a pen and a pad of paper, in an email to yourself or in the mind of your best friend, of every time you ‘got’ something intuitively, and it was right or helpful to you or another person. This is technically called a validation journal, but here we are calling it, “List of all the times I was right about something." Because really, that’s what it is.
Right now, make this list and enter in a backlog.
Go back in your memory of instances where you felt, saw, knew, or heard something - and it turned out to be right and/or helpful. Then, keep this list up to date as a running log. The longer that you do this, the less you will question the reliability of your information or feel the need to explain it to anyone at all.
Overcoming low self-esteem, especially when you are already a sensitive (perhaps by trade) can be difficult, but with these reminders and tips, it can be easier to rise above and manage successfully.
Amanda Linette Meder