When someone crosses over into Spirit, they lose their physical body. And with the loss of a physical body, goes the loss of a physical body voice box - the thing that creates the sound that comes out of your mouth. Thus, those in Spirit can’t talk back to you, but many times, they can hear exactly what you are saying and want to communicate that with you.
So, they can hear you when you talk to them out loud. They know you are sorry and they would like to acknowledge that they can hear you. If they could, they would like to say out loud that they forgive you, but they physically can’t . . . because they don’t have a voice box.
No one really stays mad once they cross over.
In fact, when someone dies with an unhealed relationship in their physical lives, one of their new main priorities as a Spirit is to figure out heal it, too, But this process can take some time.
Think about it - no one likes to have conflict with someone they love - even if there was a misunderstanding. Everyone, in some way or another, wants to have resolution. Everyone wants things to restore to peace, even if, in their physical life, they were too stubborn to be proactive about taking the steps needed to make that happen.
How many times in your life, have you wanted to apologize for something, but didn’t, because you felt someone else should apologize to you . . . first?
How many times have you wanted to heal a relationship with someone after a small fight that got out of hand, but figured they would be too mad at you to even listen to what you had to say . . . so you didn’t?
How many times have you wished to apologize for something, but were afraid of how the other person might react to that apology and you didn’t want to deal with the onslaught of words potentially coming at you . . .so you stopped yourself?
How many times have you wished to say, “Hey, it’s really not that big of a deal!”, but kept your distance until ‘they were ready to come forward’, instead?
We’ve all done one of these things at least once.
And we all have a variety of fears, concerns and reasonable explanations as to why we don’t apologize, say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness and healing until it’s too late. We’re human. We make mistakes.
In this case, the ‘too late’ is the crossing-over of the person you wish to have healing with. In other cases, ‘too late’ is waiting until after the love of your life marries someone else, or the ‘too late’ is waiting until your child has already picked up and moved across the country with their new family.
So, while you were hemming and hawing over whether or not you should apologize, someone crossed-over . . .and actually, that’s a benefit to the relationship. Not a detriment. There’s actually an improved opportunity to relationship healing once somebody becomes Spirit.
Why Dying Makes it Easier to Forgive
When someone dies and crosses over into the Divine Light (a place also known as Heaven), they immediately go through what is called a Life Review.
In short, a life review is a period of time and an experience where your Loved One has to look objectively at their life, the impacts of their actions on themselves and their relationships and understand the perspective of their own lives from all those that they Love. You learn about your life from your soul’s learning perspective, but also from the perspective of every interaction you’ve ever had and how those interactions affected everyone you have ever known.
The life review can take a while. Thus, if you know someone who has crossed and they visited you right away after their death and suddenly vanished - this could be where they are - in the life review classroom. Some people in Spirit have shown it to me like a movie theater with Guides and Angels, where others have shown it as a conference room with a projector and a conference table to go over things. Either way, it’s a time for your Loved One to gain perspective on all their interactions in relationships. Kind of like a post game review session.
And most of the time, when they come out of this review session, they have a whole new world view on everything . . . one that includes a new outlook on whatever the argument, misunderstanding or misdoing that was had between you and them.
Once they see things from their perspective and your perspective, most people, don’t care anymore, because they are able to see why you acted the way you acted and how you felt afterwards.
Suddenly, then, they understand. Because they’re human too . . .and have at some point, had the very same feelings you had. After that, they don’t even need an apology formally, because they get that you have been wishing to apologize for a long time.
One of the most beautiful parts of dying is gaining this understanding on life.
Still want to apologize?
Here’s what you do.
Step 1. Address them by first name
Call in their Spirit into your space by addressing them by first name out loud. Ask them to come to you from Heaven down to Earth. They will hear you and come on down. Without a physical body, transcending time and space in a flash is really one of the major benefits.
If you feel more comfortable writing this out, write their name on the top of a page, as though you are writing a letter.
Step 2. Apologize
Say what you need to say in full detail. Out loud so they can hear you, or written down so they can see it as you write it.
Step 3. Relax
It’s fine. They understand why you were mad - as they had to see it in the life review - an essential part of the crossing over process.
If you need extra validation on their forgiveness of you, remember, you can always book a session with a medium to facilitate a direct conversation for you.
Still not ready to forgive yet? That’s okay - check out this article on that.