When a person with children transitions to Spirit, they don’t suddenly stop being parents.
My father died before my 21st birthday.
I was in college and at the time, I knew he was dying.
Six months prior to his death he had been hospitalized due to complications stemming from his addiction.
It wasn’t the first time. He’d been hospitalized a few other times, such that, when he was in the hospital this time, no one was super alarmed. In fact, I think a few of my brothers and sisters even rolled their eyes.
This was the new normal for him.
But what was happening this time was different.
My father was dying.
His organs were failing and he was lying to everyone he loved about it.
When he called me from his hospital bed to tell me that everything was fine, he would be okay and out in just a couple of days, something inside told me not to trust.
Prying for more, I asked again, “So what did the doctors tell you?”
“That everything is fine! Don’t worry! I’m just here for a few days getting some fluids!”
That was his reply. And frankly, it was too optimistic for me to believe it.
Knowing I’d get nothing more from him, and nervous he’d have to tell me more, we both hung up the phone.
Twenty minutes later the hospital called.
It was his nurse.
She was whispering. She explained to me that she wasn’t supposed to be doing this, but she just couldn’t bear to hear him lie to me. My stomach sank. At work at the time, I knew some bad news was coming my way, so I stepped into the back room.
She didn’t tell me her name because she didn’t want to be fired.
I was okay with that.
She explained that right now, my father was in a stable condition. However, once he left the hospital he would not be . . . and there was nothing they or anyone could do to help.
My father, she stated, was not a viable candidate for an organ transplant.
No council would approve his request because it wasn’t policy to give new organs to addicts - they’d ruin them. Why approve him, when a 5-year-old child with a hopeful future would surely not?
Even though he was my father, I saw the rational in that.
I nodded my head silently in agreement.
She went on to say, that it was only a matter of time before one, if not several of his organs failed completely.
I asked, “How much time?”
“A couple of months,” she continued, “I suggest, and I’m so sorry to tell you this, that you start mentally preparing for life without him.”
Drinking nothing but straight vodka from a bottle for the past several years, I knew this was coming.
There was no amount of further saving, treatment suggesting or dropping him off at rehab that could solve this.
Now, death appeared to be his only solution.
In those months preceding his death, I thought about his life.
I thought about how he had been a pretty awful father, and I’d always wished for a better one.
I thought about how he’d actually never visited me at college, not once. That he’d even laughed at me when I told him I was accepted into the college I wanted, saying, “Only stupid people go to schools like that.” It wasn’t an Ivy League school, like his.
But I went anyway.
I thought about how when I’d try to talk to him as a kid, without even looking my direction, he’d turn the television volume up over my voice.
And then I thought about all the times he’d flown into an angry rage and become violent with me, my mom and my siblings.
My father's legacy as a father was not a good one.
In death, I thought, he’d be sorry for all of this. He’ll wish he had been a better father.
Once he gets to the other side, I rationalized, he’ll realize what a big mistake he made.
Not more than six months after that conversion with his anonymous nurse, that’s exactly what happened.
Now as a medium, I’ve been made aware that that’s pretty much what always happens.
When a parent gets to the Otherside, they often realize they still want to be a parent - and a better one.
For parents who were less than stellar parents, this means they want to make up for all the non-support they gave you while alive.
For parents who were actually awesome parents, this means they plan to be even better parents than they were while living.
When a parent dies, they still ‘parent’ once in Spirit.
This is especially true if a parent dies young, before their children have families and adult lives of their own.
Parents in Spirit will:
- Try to make their absence up to you
If a parent has died early, and you are the surviving child, they are going to want to do things for you to make up for their absence.
If your parent has died early and they did a poor job at parenting, and you are the surviving child, take the above statement and multiply that by 1000x.
- Do things for their children
They will help line up jobs, opportunities and soulmates basically becoming helicopter parents on the other side. If you have a parent in Spirit, they’re likely actively pulling all types of strings for you right now.
And yes, they’d probably like a thank you (but it’s okay if you don’t think they deserve it, too).
- Still want to be involved with the upbringing of their children
If this person has young children, they will still want to be involved in their child’s life - even if it just means watching over and protecting their children.
If you are a surviving spouse of a parent who has passed, try to reconnect with your spouse in Spirit. They’ll want to reconnect with you, too, and have input on what to do with various child-rearing and raising situations.
Yes, you can do it. No, it’s not crazy to think it’s possible.
In fact, I teach regular people just like you how to do it every day.
As for my own father on the Other Side?
He’s apologized. Profusely. Through more mediums than I can count.
And he continues to show up and apologize to this day.
Sometimes, when I get a really awesome parking spot, am hooked up with a fantastic opportunity, or am offered help when I need it the most - I wonder if it’s him over there - making up for all the things he wished he had done. . .while alive.
In a way, he’s more the father I’ve always wanted now than he ever was.