How To Support A Spouse Having A Spiritual Awakening
by Amanda Linette Meder
She wants to pursue it further and I want to support her. The problem is that I have been a skeptic my whole life. Are there any resources for loved ones on how to cope with newfound talents or how to help them grow? I am not sure what I should be doing to support her beyond just being there. I obviously can't relate to what she feels, but I want to help her reach her potential, no matter what that turns out to be. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
I had a chance to ask my significant other to help with this one.
Since he's been through the ringer on this, I figured he would have some good insight.
What advice he would give to someone who wanted to be supportive to their spouse opening to their gifts?
As the old cow he is now, these were his three words to the wise:
1. Don't try to change her. She is who she is and you'll fair a whole lot better by respecting one another, rather than trying to change one another. As she grows into what is happening, you'll grow too. This is something that's been discussed most candidly and notably, in this article from The Good Men Project.
The author, Steven Lake, writes about the soft benefits of having a spiritual partner, something that I've discussed before when counseling medium's seeking their husband's support.
Steven writes, of witnessing his wife's spiritual awakening:
". . . seeing the light shine through my wife is humbling and exciting at the same time. She positively radiates an energy through her eyes and face that is remarkable. I am not the only one who sees this. Others have commented on her inner beauty and deep sense of composure."
- Steven Lake, The Good Men Project
Read the full article here: What Do You Do When Your Wife Is On A Spiritual Journey And You’re Not?
Next, my significant other says:
2. Allow her to go through different phases of understanding it. She's going to change throughout her journey, and so will you, and even your relationship to it will change. There may be phases where she wants to do a bunch of readings for other people to validate her gifts, and then times when she (or you) needs to go on a spirit break for a while and not talk about it at all.
In our house, if anyone needs a break from it (having to deal with two universes now, instead of just the one, can be overwhelming at times) - we just say the word. And that's something that could work for you guys, too.
And finally . . .
3. Definitely don't tell her she's crazy.
This one goes without saying.
So, that's all he could think of at the moment, but I think they're all pretty good pointers.
They've worked to keep us together - and we couldn't be more opposite! (I talk more about that in this post, where I also discuss how common it is for mediums/healers to have their opposite as their partner).
Anyway, besides my own significant other's advice, here's one coming from me, the other half in this relationship, and a counsel for people going through the understanding of their gifts and the managing of it with their family members:
There's really nothing better you could do for her than to just become a good, supportive, and caring listener.
That, and to make sure to defend her in public, should she, or her abilities, come under the attack/scrutiny of friends, family members, or peers.
Then, a few other things you could do (alone or together) to show your support:
Watch some documentaries, shows, or movies on the topic. This can help you understand how gifts work in different people and how your wife's abilities may differ/find similarity with the gifts of others. Also, it may help you identify what you don't like about the industry -
Either way, doing this alone can dramatically increase your own understanding of how it all works, understand her gifts in relation to the other types of abilities out there, understand the pitfalls/pluses of the industry, empathize more, and so on.
Go with her book and supply shopping. This is one of my favorite things to do with my own significant other, and usually it's a win/win for us. Most metaphysical shops are in trendy areas, so we can usually find something he enjoys doing after.
Reassure her that you’re there for her in a crisis. Most psychics, healers, and others with gifts spend a lot of time feeling isolated and alone, especially during their spiritual crisis and learning phases. You can help to reverse this fear (the fear of continued aloneness) by reassuring her that she isn't alone.
And finally, a few articles to read, just for good measure:
- Dating a Psychic Medium: What To Expect
- Psychic, Medium, Healer: Getting Support From Friends and Family
- How To Be Friends With A Psychic Medium
Here's a great article from Ashley Strong on a Spiritual Awakening that is Causing Relationship Issues.
So to end - loving her for who she is and for who she continues to evolve to be, becoming a better listener, and educating yourself on the topic . . . these are all things you can do to become more supportive. Much of which, though, I'll be honest, it sounds like you're already doing, so good job.
I've had husbands and fathers write in before about how they can best support their daughter or wife in their own development, and I'm happy I was finally able to answer this question here on the blog today.
Thanks for writing in, Spencer! Good luck -
Amanda Linette Meder