Many times, you’ll hear from psychics and mediums that one of the most popular questions in readings is about finding a soul mate. A person who matches and aligns with your soul. And if I was being honest with you, I would tell you that this is the reason why I ever visited a psychic medium. I wanted to know if I had a soul mate and when I would meet him - and I wanted to know bad.
And of course, I’ve talked about timing and meeting soul mates on the blog before, but I’ve yet to answer the real question that was behind my ‘surface question’ about a soul mate all those years ago.
Rather than wanting to know if I had a soul mate, what I really wanted to know was this:
When and how can I meet someone who loves and accepts me for exactly who I am? Someone who gets me completely, someone who I don’t have to hide from. Someone who truly values my existence and loves me in the exact way I desire to be loved.
Sound like person you’re searching for, too?
This person, doesn’t have to be your soul mate. In fact, the word soul mate usually refers to someone that your soul needed to meet to grow. Yup. Not someone you are to be with forever and ever, but a learning mate - a development partner. Soul mates, when we meet them, always have one thing in common:
Soulmates expand your capacity to love and to be loved.
What does this mean, Amanda? Well, sometimes it means that they love you forever and teach you how to be loving. Sometimes it means you stay with this person forever and you grow together as continual teachers in love. Sometimes it means this person completely breaks your heart and from that, you learn the true capacity of heart break. A soul mate teaches you about loving and love in relationship with another human.
You have many soul mates and that’s the truth. There are lots of people, sometimes romantic and sometimes completely platonic, who will teach you what love means . . . . and what love does NOT mean for you. Ultimately, will you endlessly love all your soulmates? Hardly. Some of them, you may dislike for quite a while. Difficult teachers are like that. In the end, you gotta love ‘em, but does that mean in the moment it’s easy to see why they have been placed in your life?
You can identify the soulmates that exist in your life right now or have existed in your life in the past, by doing two things:
1. Count the most beneficial and rewarding relationships in your life
2. Count the most difficult and heart breaking relationships in your life
Like it or not, in these relationships, you had a soul mate. A learning partner. A relationship teacher. Someone who taught you all about what love IS and what love IS NOT.
How do you find the soul mate who loves you for who you are equally?
1. Find out how to give to yourself the love that you deserve.
Once you become a regular at giving yourself love, the type of love you’ll require of another one day - you’ll be an excellent spotter at attracting and detracting the types of people who will provide you with that and who won’t.
2. Become the highest and best version of yourself that you possibly can.
Many times, our loved ones in Spirit come through to say they were holding out on providing a ‘soulmate’ until you were at your prime - so that your true match would be drawn to you when you were able to receive this person as the highest and best version of yourself. Why? A soul mate is an love match in equality. You want the highest and best match - become that for yourself. In other words, become a soul mate for yourself and the highest and best soul mate will begin to be drawn to you.
3. Decide what you require to feel love and be loved by another and put it to paper as a list for the universe.
Your Spirit Guides, Angels and Loved Ones want you to find someone who appreciates and loves you for you. But, you’re like a casting director for a very important film. While they can send you potential actors and actresses for your move - you have to tell them what they are searching for in the casting. In other words, give them the details of who you are looking for to fill your role. Be as specific as you can, all the way down to how you want to be treated and how you want this person to behave and comfort you when you are sad. Include all the elements of this person that will satisfy your soul. The first time I created this list, it was 5 pages. And I edited it several times - each time I was offered a recruit for my movie that was slightly off key! Edit, edit edit - until your Spirit Guides, Angels and Loved Ones get it right. They want to.
Those are the 3 main keys to finding and aligning with a soul mate - and not just any soul mate - the one who loves and values you exactly as you are. The one who appreciates you with all of his or her being. The one who wants the best for you regardless of what it means for you. The one who loves you independently of the love they have for themselves.
One thing is for certain, though. While you may have many soul mates (soul teachers) there is at least one person on this earth who can love and match your soul unconditionally.
Does this mean it will be easy? Nope. But then welcome, the Twin Flame.
Twin flames are discussed and talked about a lot in the psychic and metaphysical community and actually, they’re a type of soul mate.
A twin flame is a division of your soul, part of you who has divided off and lived a different life until you are reunited with this person.
The best way to describe a twin flame is with two physical identical twins who were the same egg and then in the early development, before they are fully in their physical bodies, the egg separates and two distinct eggs are created. From the same source, they are now completely separate beings. Imagine then, that each egg, developed independently of each other, lived completely different lives and like twins separated at birth - they may reunite. And when they do, they can uniquely identify with each other and know that they have a shared bond. Often, many of their idiosyncrasies and personality traits are the same. This includes personal weaknesses, or ‘areas for growth’, and personal strengths.
When you meet a twin flame, you have a knowing - that this is your soul twin - and both of you are aware on some level that you two are a match.
Does it mean you get along perfectly? No, not at all. In fact, many twin flames are like two small flames that create a bonfire and explosion when they are joined. Sometimes, you and your twin flame will be geographically or otherwise separated from each other for a time - to help you ease into it - and to avoid a chaotic union.
Twin flame relationships are much like meeting your mirror. Rewarding in many ways, but often, because of the similarities - the saying of that which you dislike most within yourself you will see in others - often rings true with a twin flame relationship.
It is believed that you don’t necessarily meet a twin flame in every lifetime, but that if you do meet this person to accelerate your soul growth. To face questions, philosophies and flaws within yourself to attain a balance. A twin flame often, raises questions within yourself and what it is that you are searching for. A twin flame, is like the other end of a see-saw, and someone just sat down on the other side - they can really throw you up in the air until you both find an easy balance. In fact, it is very common for twin flames to come together from two completely different walks of life and belief systems. Mirror matches.
If you should meet a soul mate or the twin flame version of your soul mate, you usually know immediately or very soon upon meeting - that this relationship is an important one - regardless of the eventual outcome.
Amanda Linette Meder