Amanda Linette Meder

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When Someone Dies Before You Can Apologize

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Updated 2021.12.15

Did you not have the opportunity to apologize to someone before they died? You can still heal it. Below I discuss -

When someone crosses over into Spirit, they lose their physical body. And with the loss of a physical body, goes the loss of a physical body voice box - the thing that creates the sound that comes out of your mouth.

Thus, those in Spirit can’t physically talk back to you, but many times, they can hear exactly what you are saying and want to communicate that with you either telepathically or through physical or non-physical signs sent through the veil.

In general, when present, your loved ones can hear you when you talk to them out loud.

They know you are sorry and they are too, they would like to acknowledge that they can hear you. 

If they could, they would like to say out loud that they forgive you, but they physically can’t because they don’t have a voice box.

No one really stays mad once they cross over.

In fact, when someone dies with an unhealed relationship in their physical lives, one of their new main priorities as a Spirit is to figure out how to heal it, too, But this process of acclimating back to the other side and how to communicate there can take some time.

Think about it - no one likes to have conflict with someone they love - even if there was a misunderstanding. Everyone, in some way or another, wants to have resolution.

Everyone wants things to restore to peace, even if, in their physical life, they were too stubborn to be proactive about taking the steps needed to make that happen.

How many times in your life have you wanted to apologize for something, but didn’t, because you felt someone else should apologize to you first?

How many times have you wanted to heal a relationship with someone after a small fight that got out of hand, but figured they would be too mad at you to even listen to what you had to say, so you didn’t?

How many times have you wished to apologize for something, but were afraid of how the other person might react to that apology and you didn’t want to deal with the onslaught of words potentially coming at you, so you stopped yourself?

How many times have you wished to say, “Hey, it’s really not that big of a deal!”, but kept your distance until ‘they were ready to come forward’, instead?

We’ve all done one of these things at least once.

And we all have a variety of fears, concerns and reasonable explanations as to why we don’t apologize, say we’re sorry and ask for forgiveness and healing until it’s too late. We’re human. 

We make mistakes while living that are not realized until one becomes Spirit.

The ‘too late’ of an apology can be the crossing-over of the person you wish to have healing with.

Thankfully there’s actually an improved opportunity for relationship healing once somebody becomes Spirit.

Why Dying Makes It Easier To Forgive

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When someone dies and crosses over into the Divine Light (a place also known as Heaven), they immediately go through what is called a Life Review.

In short, a Life Review is a period of time and an experience where your Loved One has to look objectively at their life, the impacts of their actions on themselves and their relationships and understand the perspective of their own lives from all those that they Love.

During a Life Review, learn about your life from your soul’s learning perspective, but also from the perspective of every interaction you’ve ever had and how those interactions affected everyone you have ever known.

The Life Review can take a while, usually around 6 months to a year. Thus, if you know someone who has crossed and they visited you right away after their death and suddenly vanished - this could be where they are - in the life review classroom.

Some people in Spirit have shown it to me like a movie theater with Guides and Angels, where others have shown it as a conference room with a projector and a conference table to go over things. Either way, it’s a time for your Loved One to gain perspective on all their interactions in relationships. Kind of like a post-game review session.

Most of the time, when a loved one comes out of this review session, they have a whole new world view on everything . . . one that includes a new outlook on whatever the argument, misunderstanding or misdoing that was had between you and them.

Once through a Life Review, they usually see things from their perspective and your perspective. Most people don't care anymore if you are mad, because they are able to see why you acted the way you acted and how you felt afterwards. 

What matters to them is making it up to you in Spirit, and that is often what I see with deceased loved ones in readings, they want to work with you, to benefit your life and make up for any wrong-doing on their end. Usually through the form of unexpected gifts and abundance.

They often understand and want to explain or apologize in readings. Because they’re human too and have at some point, had the very same feelings you had. 

After that, they don’t even need an apology formally, because they know that you have been wishing to apologize for a long time. 

One of the most beautiful parts of transitioning over to Spirit is gaining this understanding of life, that of others perspectives, the issue then is getting through to the living their condolences. 

To balance the weight of a relationship with someone who has transitioned, and you want to apologize, simply to offer forgiveness and lift the heaviness of emotion, read on for how - 

How To Say Sorry To Someone Who Died

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Step 1. Address them by first name

Call their Spirit into your space by addressing them by first name out loud. Ask them to come to you from Heaven down to Earth. They will hear you and come on down. Without a physical body, transcending time and space in a flash is really one of the major benefits.

You can place your hands palm up when you do this, or listen to relaxing music as you do this, being calm promotes a smooth connection with those in the Spirit Realm.

If you feel more comfortable writing out your words, write their name on the top of a page, as though you are writing a letter.

Step 2. Say what you need

Say what you need to say in full detail. Out loud so they can hear you, or written down so they can see it as you write it. 

Here you want to write what you are upset about, if anything, what you want to have relief or peace on, and any words you have to offer of love or compassion on your end.

Step 3. Relax

Roll your shoulders back and down and relax.

Visualize their energy if you can, call into your memory a time when they were with you in living form and it was good. Go back as far as you need to access this thought or memory. This step raises your spiritual vibration, allowing you to possibly connect with them if they are with you.

After that, if you feel comfortable, ask for a message. Notice what comes intuitively. Deceased loved ones are usually not far off, especially if you are close with them.

Their understanding of why you were mad may come through, as they had to see it in the Life Review and you may see in your mind’s eye or feel in your heart additional signs or symbols.

If you need extra validation on their forgiveness or steps for yours, remember, you can always book a session with a medium to facilitate a direct conversation for you, you can also ask to see a sign of confirmation.

To end, you can apologize to someone when they are in Spirit and they you, though know, once someone enters Spirit World, they are often not angry anymore, as they see the world from your lens as well as theirs.

Then, their whole goal is often connecting with you to make up for their absence or assist you on your path of forgiveness towards peace, if you allow it.

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