I have not forgiven a deceased person. How do they feel?
Forgiving a deceased person, a how-to. Tree in red field, Image by Bessi from Pixabay
Updated 2021.12.09 with new links
Holding onto anger and being willing to let go is one of the most transformative places you can ever be.
Sometimes the deceased do things they ought to have apologized for, but never found the words and the pass into Spirit before they do.
If you feel angry at a partner, parent, friend, or anyone else who is now crossed into Spirit, not to worry. You're in the right place.
I've seen this in readings quite a lot.
After spending years translating the messages, and hearing the same general thing from the deceased, passed on to the living about this, I've been able to make some conclusions. Today, I'd like to share those with you.
How does your deceased loved one feel about your anger toward them?
After your loved ones cross over, they go through something called a life review. This is an opportunity for them to look over their lives and gather perspective from their time here.
It's not a punishment.
During this life review, which many deceased loved ones describe as like watching a movie of your own life, they all do one thing - gather perspective. It's kind of like an employee performance report - for your whole life.
Your loved ones view 'the movie' of their life from their own perspective and from the standpoint of everyone else, their actions ever affected at all times.
During the life review, a deceased has to view their actions through their eyes, your eyes, and many others' eyes.
To see, understand, and process how all felt about the way all behaved. It's an event recap, and their Angels surround them for comforting and support, and the whole thing sounds pretty neutral to me.
Once this is done, though, they usually agree with you and your perspective wholeheartedly, and they can see the pain they have caused.
So when given a chance in a reading, they often come back to apologize.
People who deserve an apology will often experience more visitations than usual, usually to provoke them to see a medium to deliver a said apology, too.
So once they move through the process of crossing over:
Your reasons for being angry are viewed as 100% valid and understandable once seen through your eyes. Your deceased loved ones completely 'get' why you are mad at them once they go through the life review.
This is one of the points of having a life review at all. It adds closure and understanding before the soul moves fully back to their life chart.
They reflect, then what happens is
Depending on the person, this 'life review' can take a while. Since it's immediately done right upon crossing and a necessary step in the dying process, there's no avoiding it.
Reviewing your life is the final step of moving entirely into Spirit (Learn more about the whole process of crossing here).
Once your deceased loved one in question entirely crosses and passes through the life review (there's no way to fail, it's a review, not a firing), they are free to 'move about the cabin.'
What this means is - they can come back to earth for a visit.
And what is the first thing they are going to want to do once visit time comes around?
I apologize to you.
Whether it's through a medium, through sending you signs or coming in dreams, your deceased loved one is going to want to apologize and make amends with you by some means.
They want to have a resolution - and show you that they understand how you felt this whole time.
Do you have to forgive them?
It's ultimately your choice to forgive or not to forgive.
I recommend moving towards forgiveness and starting remembering your past's positive memories and visualizing them when the times were good or imagining them as a child.
If you are planning on scheduling a session with a medium, please know that often, the people you are the angriest within Spirit are the same ones who want so badly to apologize.
Be prepared - this person may try to make amends the first chance they get. They also may send another deceased as a feeler to warm you up before they appear, such as a grandmother or a neutral family friend.
I feel this strategy softens the message and wears down any rough spots before a client is asked to open their heart to forgive a person to whom it has been hardened. This is usually why long-lost family members appear at readings.
And if this person does attempt an apology through a medium, or sends another Spirit to deliver loving words, give them a chance and hear them out. It's usually worth it.
Forgiving the deceased is a way you can add a closure to the relationship and allow all to be free.
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