So today I'd like to answer a reader question.
My mom visited this past weekend, and while she was here, we had a long time to talk about all kinds of things, and one of the things that came up was my childhood.
On a drive we were taking to visit the Wolf Sanctuary of PA, she started telling me a story about how by the time I was four years old, she remembered buckling me into my car seat and me saying to her,
"Look, mommy, there's a lady in that window there."
And there being no lady.
Because that continued throughout my childhood, she went on.
"So you were talking about your gifts since around the time you could walk," she said.
And that got us into talking about why I had stopped expressing my gifts.
What specific event was it was that made me stop talking about my gifts as freely as I had when I was four, clamming up about them until after my father died (which I'll discuss later).
Because this brings us to our question:
Why, if everyone is a medium, isn't everyone isn't just out there developing their abilities?
If we all had them once, way back when, before anyone told us we couldn't, shouldn't, or it would actually be frowned upon if . . . . why aren't we using them?
What's the barrier?
The Official Question
I have a question about developing intuition. I have been told by several different people that everyone has intuitive abilities (clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, etc.). I believe this to be true, but I am confused as to why only some people are mediums, healers, shamans, etc. If everyone has these abilities then why isn't everyone a medium, healer, etc.? Is it just a matter of developing these abilities or is there something else at play - like a soul plan? Or is it something else entirely? Thank you so much! And I just want to say that I am so grateful for your energy and what you are putting out in the world, you are so amazing!
Every baby is born as their true, soul self with an uninterrupted flow of connection to The Great Spirit, God, Source, whatever your chosen path has elected to call the great IT.
Gifts come from this true, unaltered connection, and generally, they stop coming when at some point, that flow is interrupted.
In some cases, yes, it is just a matter of the Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 hour rule level of commitment to developing it.
But in most cases, the key is finding out what interrupted that original flow in the first place, along with other factors (mentioned below).
It reality, everyone has their reasons for why they choose to exhibit their gifts through alternate professions or paths, or for why they decide to suppress their gifts entirely, but for many, it's a combination of things.
Sometimes it is simply a matter of picking up the guitar and strumming a few notes.
But generally, it's not that that prevents people.
The reasons why you don't have a ton of professional mediums walking around are many and related to some magical combination of this non-exhaustive list of factors:
- General level of personal interest and affinity for the craft itself
- Amount of family and friend support for pursuing that particular craft
- Cultural conditioning of what's acceptable behavior and what's not
- Level of perceived success at it or what some call talent
- Degrees of universal mystery and a certain level of willingness to trust the process
Some researchers say spiritual development begins with a dissatisfaction with the material world.
Where it is this dissatisfaction that acts as an impetus for someone to want to focus on and see what the spiritual world has to offer them, causing them to reopen their gifts.
In my eBook, The Medium's Toolkit, though, I talk about a variety of different impetuses that can bring back out the re-dedication and focus to one's true self and connection to spirit.
Then, we have to consider that people enjoy doing what is easy for them, something that comes intuitively to them, and something that they have success and fun with.
If you had an interest in dentistry, but tried it once, and found it difficult, you may not choose to pursue it as a career.
Further then, if someone, somewhere told you density it was a bad idea, refused or threatened to refuse to give love to them if they became a dentist, or the circumstances or resources weren't *just* right, it's true - you may never become a dentist.
And then gifts may never fully develop unless there's some impetus to make it happen.
Like a death in the family.
But let's move on -
The Basketball Theory
States that just because I theoretically could go outside and play basketball right now, doesn't mean I'm really all that interested in doing so.
Even though you may have a basketball at your house, a place to practice it, and all of the same limbs used to play the game - there is a combination of factors, like those mentioned above, that make up the reason why you may not be Shaq right now.
There is some magic mystery combination involving interest, genetics, passion, path, family encouragement, confidence, willingness to step out of the box, divine circumstances, personal enjoyment I must get out of my work to make it work for me.
The same goes for everyone.
But The Truth Is This:
Gifts are part of the true self, and the true self never fully goes away, it just goes into hiding.
But because of social shame and stigmas, people with genuine gifts can and may hide for quite awhile.
In Ashley Strong's post, where she writes about her experiences coming out as a medium, she details this experience:
Over the summer while casually hanging out in a friend’s pool, the subject of mediumship came up and it turned into a conversation that I will never forget.
“It’s nice that I know you and know who you are as a person. It gives me comfort in knowing that psychics aren’t totally full of it like I’ve always thought. I know you aren’t, so it’s just kind of cool to know that this stuff could actually be real.” – Close guy friend
“Yea either that or she just doesn’t know that she is full of it” said another person.
This above event, a public mini-shaming, is not at all uncommon among the experiences gifted. It's something all mediums, psychics and healers are familiar with, and the fear of it happening, can keep many people in a continual state of repression with their gifts.
But then again, you also have many people using their gifts every day (in hiding) without ever realizing they are medium-ing at all.
So secret even to themselves, people use their clairvoyance, deliver messages, and bring forth divine knowledge every day without even allowing themselves to acknowledge or consider where it just might be coming from.
Because It's Like This:
I could write in my journal every day for three years and during these three years, read books about writing, give myself writing assignments, go to writing classes, and eventually come to develop the most beautiful prose the world has come to know.
But if I was afraid to share my writing because once in the fourth grade a boy laughed at a story, I told aloud in class; I may never come to see myself as a writer.
Whether this is because I didn't believe in myself enough:
- or because I was too humble to acknowledge how good I could be
- or because I was afraid of being hurt again
- or because my father
It could be any one of those things, or more likely, a combination thereof.
But whatever the case, eventually, I have to start being me again.
And the good news is that eventually, most people open back up to their true intuitive natures, too.
But . . . that doesn't mean everyone does it with a professional singular title attached to it.
Some people just work healer or medium into their regular job title.
For example, with the writing analogy, you may write for a nature center, or for a news organization, or for you job as a public outreach assistant - but this doesn't mean you see yourself as a writer. You may just see myself as a public outreach representative, no matter how good your writing is and how other people may see you as a writer.
People both use their gifts in different ways and they recognize the exhibition of their gifts in a variety of ways.
Mediums work at animal shelters, at wolf sanctuaries, for environmentalist organizations, as creative artists putting their visions to paint, or by bringing through a new eco-friendly vision for their city as the LEED planning architect.
People who see visions are generally mediums.
People who work with animals generally have some level of medium in their bones.
City planners are mediums, as are architects, as are many songwriters.
It's just a choice as to where they see their abilities, visions, inspirations as coming from, that largely determines whether or not these gifts are recognized.
Perhaps they've never even thought to consider where their mind's images come from (many people don't).
The good thing about mediums and also the unfortunate thing, is that most are pretty humble people.
Even though this could be a personal safety thing, there are lot of people out there with gifts who aren't using them, speaking about them, or defining themselves by them.
Maybe they are only sharing their gifts with their closest supporters.
Maybe they don't have a closest supporter, so they aren't sharing them at all.
Either way, most healers, mediums, and psychics will never admit that their gifts are something special, even if they are.
Sadly, if I never thought I *could* be a good lawyer, I'd never get up in front of a courtroom.
It's this same combination of things that holds most people back.
So yes, in some cases, it's a matter of getting over the fear of the unknown and just developing it.
But it's also a matter of how important a connection to the Divine is to someone at any one moment, how much room they give for it in their lives, how much seriousness they have approached the craft in the past.
Old world healers won't heal if you don't believe it. My uncle taught me to never share a vision with a person who doesn't appreciate it.
So why would the spirit world spend all their energy on getting the attention of someone who refuses to see it?
Whether that be part your soul plan, the greater plan, or God's plan - past life and ancestral history (a theory which has a scientific basis in something called epigenetics) - my belief is that it's a mix.
In the end, I believe that the biggest barriers that hold people are largely related to social stigmas:
- the fear of what their family and friends will think of them if they share their gifts or speak them out loud
- the fear of how things might change with the way things are now and if that change will be difficult
- the classic fear of what the husband might say
And so on.
I could go on and on about this.
For me, there was an impetus event that both closed me down and opened me back up.
When I was 14 years old, I got into a fight with my father. He told me never to speak of my gifts again. If I did, I couldn't live in the house anymore. I needed a roof and I couldn't provide my own at the time, so I shut up, and consequently my gifts shut down.
(In my membership community this month, we're talking about The Art of Delivery, and this can surely happen. The not sharing of gifts, or better, the fear of what will happen what you do, will indeed cause a clog in the pipe.)
So while of course now, I recognize the many purposes of the fight and importance of the period that followed, back then, the reason I didn't develop my gifts (even though I had them) was a mere act of survival, fueled by my desire to be loved.
then There's the Historical Data
In addition to everything mentioned above, there are also several cultural events affecting how safe people feel in being themselves freely.
Events such as these:
1. The Witch Trials of the 1400-1600s. In this era, not only did family members and friends turn each other in, women turned on their teachers and peers. It was a messy time of mistrust, where remnants still affect us today.
New healers, psychics and mediums entering the field still encounter hostility or a refusal to be let in by their peers. Something we're reclaiming now and something that we don't support in my membership community at least. There, all are welcome and treated as equal. It's like a little refuge.
2. The Early Mediumship Era of 1848 and onward. Not less than 150 years ago in our country, a psychic, medium, or healer could be tarred, feathered and shot at - just for being who they are.
This is early enough in our history that your grandmother would remember these stories from her grandparents.
3. Modern Era Message Boards. The existence of some social message boards today that skewers any medium, healer, or psychic who manages to get big enough to make a difference. Seeing a peer in the modern day equivalent of being strung up on the cross, can cause some to hide.
Affect how people act and exhibit.
So whether we're talking about cellular memory, passed down ancestral genetics, or even all the modern evidence you've collected on your own, there's every reason in the book not to speak up about who you are.
But regardless, people need to know who you are and why you're doing this.
Because that's when the stigmas stop. That's when the hate stops. That's where the fear ends.
And when the fear ends, the hate stops, and the stigmas start to fade, people start to feel free again to be themselves.
People need to see that psychics aren't evil, that mediums aren't about the devil, and that healers, work with the great Spirit that we all know and love, to heal.
More than anyone else, your people need to see this.
Others in our community need to see that you doing this is okay, and then more will start to come out of the closet.
Anyway, back to the story.
When my father died I was living in my own apartment. I had my own house, I paid for all my own food, and I was 1800 miles away from him. And my gifts came back within just weeks following his passing. All because the threat was gone.
Once the threat is gone (whatever it is), for most people, learning how to use your gifts again, doesn't take quite as long as figuring out why a person shut down their gifts the first place.
So, for me and for many, the reopening, acknowledgement, and speaking of gifts from your birthright is a move back to real self.
Real self is still out there, it's just whether or not a person is ready to, wanting to, or interested in seeing it.
Thanks for writing, Haley Kae!
Amanda Linette Meder
Other Articles You May Enjoy:
- Spirit Q&A: Can My Spirit Guides Get Mad, Angry or Upset?
- Spirit Q&A: Do Ghosts Hang Out In Cemeteries?
- Spirit Q&A: How Do I Know if I'm a Medium?
- Spirit Q&A: Someone Close to Me Just Died and Now I Sense the Presence of Spirits. What’s Happening?
- Q&A: I've just come out of the closet as a psychic medium. How long will it take for people to accept?