Before I opened up and fully accepted my Spiritual abilities, I was terrified of just about anything and everything related to Spirits and Spiritual things.
Then, there came a time when I decided I didn’t want to live in fear anymore. Since I had started my journey by reading books - all the Spiritual books possible to be exact - I knew the only way to release my fears was to walk straight into them and confront what scared me the most.
And my whole life, I was terrified of ghosts.
I was scared of ghosts and things being haunted. I was scared I was haunted. I was scared that if I accepted my abilities, I things would get worse. I was afraid that if I became a medium, I’d never find a boyfriend and die alone, as a witch. I was afraid that I would lose my job and my current professional integrity. I was afraid all my friends and family would slowly back away from me and out of my life.
I was scared that if I took classes to develop my abilities, I wouldn’t be as good as the other students and that I would have bitten off more than I could chew. I was scared that if I invested the little money I did have in learning how to do this, I’d be wasting it.
I had all of the fears of what would happen upon opening up to Spirit and then also, a whole different list of fears of what would happen if I didn’t open up my Spiritual Abilities.
I was full of all of the fears -
And today, after walking through all of my worries and concerns, I’m happy to say that stepping into my Spiritual Abilities was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for myself. Yes, even above going to graduate school.
Are you interested in opening your abilities, but have a few of the concerns listed above?
Or, have a completely different suite of worries?
Well, read on!
Today, I want to address and debunk many of those worries. Many of which, were my own at one point and since stepping into my Spiritual Gifts, I realized that most of these concerns, could have been easily explained by someone who’d walked down that road before.
The Top 7 Fears Preventing You from Opening up a Connection to Spirit
Concern #1: I’ll accidentally connect with or welcome in Evil
This was my number one concern when opening up my spiritual abilities. Being afraid of Spirit for my whole life, I was so afraid that if I opened up, I would accidentally let in those in Spirit who wanted to do harm to me and do harm those that I loved. Because I felt fear, I thought there was something to fear.
In an attempt to understand my abilities, watched a lot of paranormal television shows.To make these shows sensational, often, ‘cases’ specializing in evil-doing spirits are highlighted,where evil is emphasized. Rather than being comforted, I just got more terrified. My own fears of evil spirits were perpetuated when a regular ‘ol paranormal group was investigating a perfectly regular family, and somehow, a simple case of someone’s grandfather visiting, would be assumed evil and malicious. Along to horrifying music. Probably with night vision cameras.
Thankfully, even if you’ve already encountered a nasty Spirit or two - bad apples are rare - extremely are actually - so much so that now, as a practicing medium, I only see or hear of a lower Spirit every few months. Much less frequently than I originally thought - thanks, drama TV!
Think about it. Here on Earth, good, well-intentioned, nice citizens are actually more the regular, where malicious, cranky and ill-intentioned people are way less common. For example, in grade school, there may be 300 well meaning and nicely behaved students with just 1 or 2 bullies per each class. But who gets the most attention? The bully. Not all the totally well adjusted kids who decided to sit together at lunch and be friends with each other.
Who gets the most spotlights on the evening news? The criminal. Not the nice lady who offered me her seat at a coffeeshop earlier today, because it was near an outlet and she saw I had a computer. These friendly folks don’t make the news - and if they were in Spirit - they certainly wouldn’t be bossy enough to make for good television ratings. Friendly individuals who are doing their best to make the world a better place and be upstanding citizens are actually the norm, not the other way around.
And it’s this exact same way in Spirit. Everyone, eventually, does cross-over, thus, most of those you’ll meet in Spirit are not evil - but rather, they’re friendly grandfathers, helpful grandmothers, friends, brothers and fun-loving children who died too soon. And thank goodness, otherwise, a social society would completely break down!
If you happen to meet a ‘bad apple’ Spirit, by developing your abilities, you learn to stand up for yourself, and the tools you need to clear your space of anything lower or negative and demand respect from those in the Spirit world. You can learn to set boundaries and the keys of Spiritual self defense. Though, they’ll rarely, if ever, be necessary.
Concern #2: I’ll be an outcast of society and no-longer accepted among my peers.
This was my second biggest fear that prevented me from opening my abilities. I was afraid that upon telling everyone I was connecting with Spirit and had the ability to, that people would treat me like a leper. Every time I entered the room, I imagined friends, family and even coworkers whispering, telling me the spot next to them in the break room was taken or people just leaving the space around me all together. I envisioned not being invited to family picnics and gatherings, and no longer receiving dinner invitations to a night out with friends and their skeptical husbands.
And you know what happened? Not really any of that.
Sure, a few friends got weird around me for a month or two, but eventually, they opened up and started asking questions, genuinely wanting to know more about my gifts. Sure, one highly religious grandmother of mine was vocal about her worries that I might bring witchcraft into her home, but she later forgot about it and sent me a birthday card within the year. It all kind of blew over and eventually, people started being normal around me again - once they realized I was still just me.
It really wasn’t as bad as I thought. Coming out of the psychic closet was pretty un-eventuful. Even those friends that did originally balk at my spiritual abilities, have since asked me for private readings or have pulled me aside at a party to talk ‘in private’ about a ‘weird’ spiritual experience they had or something they sensed. More than ever before, people are coming forward and sharing with me their own spiritual experiences, intuitive perceptions and questions about the Spiritual world.
Sure, some people do stare and whisper at a cousin’s wedding, but later, once everyone walks away, those same people later ask me if I see Angels around them or want to know the color of their aura. I’m serious, by the way. This happened just last weekend.
In fact, I never have a shortage of people to talk to. In the weirdest twist ever, I’m actually far more popular now than I’ve ever been before I opened my gifts publicly.
At gatherings and parties, you can find me talking about Spirit with people - and I’m never the one who brought it up first. My partner has even complained that he has a hard time getting a word in edgewise from all the curious people who genuinely want to know more.
I’m not a leper. Far from it, actually.
Concern #3: My family and friends will think I’m a nutcase and make fun of me.
This was actually my partner's biggest concern when he started dating a medium. He worried that his friends, family and coworkers would make fun of him for dating a psychic. He worried that people wouldn’t be able to accept it and we’d be the laughing stock of any situation. More specifically, he worried that he’d be the laughing stock - but still. I didn’t worry about it so much, because I stopped caring about what other people thought a long time ago. And let me tell you why.
I worked at a zoo back in the day. And at that zoo, there were primates. Primates, our closest evolutionary cousin, happen to smile a lot - not when they’re happy, but when they’re afraid. When they have fear. Later, in graduate school, I sat in on a few human anthropology lectures of a visiting professor who studied hunting and gathering tribes in Africa. What did he notice? When people were afraid, they laughed together, as a way to ease the tension and lessen the fear.
So, I realized that when people laugh and make fun of others, it’s actually because they are afraid of something themselves. Afraid of what you stand for, afraid of your beliefs or afraid of something else in general. Laughing and making jest help us all feel a little bit more comfortable. And usually, there’s more fear surrounding that which you don’t understand.
When people make fun of my beliefs or of me - I simply let it go and understand there’s a fear there somewhere. Not my fear, but theirs. Perhaps created by a lack of understanding. And rather than perpetuating it by attacking back, becoming defensive, or getting hurt feelings - I create the opportunity for them to see how cool, regular, and normal a medium really can be. I let go of their fears and give them a real life example of what my beliefs stand for - universal acceptance and love.
Soon, it happened. Not shortly thereafter we began dating, we encountered our first interaction of un-accepting coworker. It was someone he worked with.
His advice? Just go on being positive and being you - a shining example of who and what it means to connect with the Light of Spirit. They’ll have no choice but to fall in love or walk away.
Then, not a few short weeks later, his un-accepting co-worker quit her job and at her farewell dinner, once everyone went to the bathroom, she pulled me aside to share an intense meditation experience she had with a crystal.
See? By providing a beacon of love and acceptance for her worry and lack of understanding, she was comfortable coming to me when, eventually, she had an interesting spiritual experience of her own.
And this is just one example - there’s many more!
Concern #4: What if I’m actually making it up and I’ll look like an idiot in front of everyone?
You aren’t. But, in order to validate that what you see, feel and sense is real - you have to share it with other people. In order to learn how good of a public speaker you really are, at some point, you have to get up on stage and give others the opportunity to provide you a standing applause afterwards.
There’s no avoiding this crucial step.
When I gave my very first reading, I was so nervous. Even though I was giving the reading with a teacher present, I didn’t want to be wrong or say something wrong. So, a part of me didn’t want to say anything at all and just sit there until the other students started sharing what they were ‘getting’ so I could make sure my ‘right’ answer, matched all the other ‘right’ answers. Then, I realized, what if we’re all waiting for the other to speak up and be the first one? No one was saying anything.
So, I simply started describing image by image, feeling by feeling, what I was getting for the person sitting across from me. With my eyes closed and full of fear, I just swung the bat and hoped to God I hit the ball.
And you know what, I did. After I shared what I received, the person I was reading validated everything. They told me what a great job I did and how accurate I was and how the imagery I described applied to their lives.
They wouldn’t have had the opportunity to tell me I wasn’t making it up, had I sat quietly and said nothing.
I know what you’re thinking - Of course, they did Amanda! You’re a professional medium.
Not back then, I wasn’t.
When I gave my first reading, I was a graduate student with just some really intense dreams and a hard time sleeping.
All of us, including me, have to start somewhere. And in order to make sure what you receive is accurate, you have to share it and give other a chance to validate it for you - give them a chance to let them know how right you are!
It’s like putting on a new dress or shirt you just bought - one that’s kind of an outrageous pattern, but that you personally think looks great on you. When you first go out in public, you might be nervous of what other people will think of your new outfit - since it’s not something you normally wear. Then, slowly but surely, people start to tell you, offhand, how cute your top is or shirt is. In the morning, you started out feeling a little self-conscious, but by the time you get home, you begin to realize - maybe I should dress like this more often! Over time, this is exactly how a lot of once beginning psychics and mediums feel.
Would those strangers have had the opportunity to compliment you, had the shirt just stayed on a hanger? No.
The best way to eliminate doubt and find out how good you really can be at baseball, is by trying out for the team and see what happens. And between you and me, every single person that I’ve spoken to has untapped abilities that they aren’t fully accessing yet. Everyone. Yup. All the people I’ve ever spoken to. By and large, most people are far more talented than they give themselves credit for.
By sharing your abilities with others, it’s like putting up a mirror in front of yourself - one that gives people an opportunity to compliment and praise you, not criticize you. On a regular week, I receive far more positive, validating remarks, than I do critical ones. Which is the opposite of what I expected, actually. And if I never started telling people what I saw and felt - I’d be receiving no compliments at all.
As you develop your abilities, you are slowly, but surely, trusting your perceptions and the final step, is learning that others will trust them too - so long as you give them the chance!
Concern #5: I’ll never find a partner to accept this/my current husband/wife will freak out.
Before I took my very first psychic class, I was completely single with no prospects of finding a partner. One of my biggest worries was that, already, I had a hard enough time getting a date with someone reasonable. If a became more a psychic or more a medium, I’d further be narrowing down my pool of potential fish.
I was certain I’d have far fewer dates - which at the time - was zero. So, you could understand my concern. Conversely, many of my friends struggle with the belief systems and acceptance of their husbands and wives. It’s hard to expand onto any new venture without the full support of the person closest to you.
Well, long story short, I eventually did find a boyfriend, only a few months after ‘coming out’ to my friends and family. With, someone pretty amazing, actually. He had a steady job and a successful career, and is now quite supportive and proud of what I do.
But it wasn’t always this way.
While he found me attractive and compassionate and my abilities interesting - he was afraid of my gifts and a little scared of what it meant for Spirit to exist in our lives at all. Though he was a self-proclaimed skeptic, he was willing to learn. And, before we met, he’d never spent so much time with a medium before or anytime really learning about what it means to be one.
By dating me, he was getting a crash-course in mediumship.
So in the beginning of our relationship, to gain his acceptance and support, I tried to teach him everything there was to know about Spirits within 30 days. And it was too much.
Why was it too much? Because what took me 20 years to learn, accept and come to terms with, I was asking him to accept and understand within less than a month. I was less patient with his acceptance of my abilities than I was with my own acceptance of my abilities. I gave myself all the time in the world and I realized, I needed to give him that time too. I needed to be equally as patient as he learned about mediumship on his own terms.
Rather than breaking up with him and walking away because he was afraid and not quite ready to accept my abilities in-full yet, I just went on being me. Writing blog posts, taking clients, talking about Spirits to people, burning incense, learning new Thai curry recipes for dinner, and lounging in my pajamas. I went on being completely normal - as normal as you can be for someone who talks to Spirit - and he went on being him. I didn’t talk to him about Spirits or anything Spiritual at all for a period of several months. Which was hard, because I love talking, in general.
Then one day, as I was getting out of the shower, I overheard a conversation he was having with a coworker. In the conversation, he was explaining how mediumship works and how he, himself, can sense Spirit, too!
Upstairs, as I was overhearing my significant other tell a near-stranger that he could sense Spirit, I was internally freaking out. Inside, I was thinking,
“I knew it! What! How is he saying this! These are the words right out of my mouth! Omg! I can’t believe this! Has he been reading my blogs?!”
On the outside, I casually walked into the room, made a cup of tea, and didn’t say a word. I acted like his Spirit-sensing confession was the most normal thing possible.
Later, as I was thinking about it, I realized something. If someone is willing to be your friend, your romantic partner, your husband or wife, they are willing to care about your interests. But, you have to give them time to accept it - in their own way.
As a general rule, I suggest giving your partner as much time to come to terms with your abilities as you gave yourself. Usually though, they’ll be faster about it.
And, one more thing: A long time ago, a medium told me that if she could find someone to love and accept her, that I could too. Despite my disbelief, it did turn out to be true, and I’d like to pass on the message:
If can find a football-watching, Italian-hoagie loving, fancy East Coast businessman to love and accept me for me, you can find someone unexpected to love you for you, too.
Concern #6: My experiences will get worse and harder to control. I already have enough to deal with on my own.
By the time I was ready to accept my abilities, I was in graduate school and experiencing visitations from unknown Spirits nearly every night and all I could think was,
How could developing my gifts possibly help this at all?
Wouldn’t it just make it more intense?
Plus, I was in the process of developing a major presentation for work and moving across the country - I already had enough on my plate.
I hardly had time to take on a new task.
Imagine for a moment that everyone on earth is handed a vintage car radio. This radio, on all the time, doesn’t have knobs that work or a slider to change the stations. As you drive in your car and go about your day, it’s just on accepting any static or station that happens to cross your path. It’s sometimes picking up stations you enjoy, sometimes not, but most of the time, you’re stuck hearing whatever noise comes your way.
Developing your abilities is like taking your radio to a repair shop and having the old mechanic teach you how to replace the knobs, tune the station and get better reception. He teaches you how to turn it on and off when you want some peace and quiet and he teaches you how to troubleshoot problems that you may encounter while working with and manipulating your radio.
When you develop your abilities, you’re taking that old radio and making it new and improved - so that works better for you!
Wouldn’t life be easier if you could travel along the road with a functioning, new and improved radio? With improved abilities, you’ll be able to hear the news and latest events, receive guidance from Spirit right when you need it, and even get up to date directions on your life path.
By developing your connection, you are actually improving the journey you’re already on and fixing up the radio you already own.
When I developed my gifts, my abilities actually didn’t get worse, they became clearer. My perceptions more precise. My control to turn it up and down, more accurate.
It’s like fixing up a vintage radio. The best time to begin hearing better, clearer music is yesterday. A better time is now.
Concern #7: A religious doctrine I follow or my family follows disagrees with or misunderstands mediumship and communicating with Spirit
There is an entire sect of Christianity, with locations worldwide, that believe in God, the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ. Also, they believe that all of your Loved Ones, Guides and Angels are in Heaven and therefore, in the Holy and Divine Light. It’s called Spiritualism and it’s an internationally recognized Christian faith.
If you or someone you know is worried about what your religion states about connecting with Spirit, do a little research. In my own personal research, I’ve found more loopholes, acceptance, and leeway for connecting with Spirit one-on-one than I’ve found condemnation - yes, even in religious doctrine.
My grandfather, a pastor at his own church for many years and a once child immigrant has received self described inspiration for his sermons from the Holy Spirit and from ‘Spirit’ in general. Every Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday night, my grandfather provided to his church, information inspired from someone in the Divine Light.
So if my grandfather can receive and deliver Divinely inspired guidance, why not you?
Amanda Linette Meder