Identifying A Spirit In Your House
How To search A Spirit On Your Land or Property
This month in the Membership Program, we are talking about Managing Your Gifts, so I figured now would be a great time to answer on the blog one of the most common questions I get related to spirits and the paranormal - dealing with things in the home. So without further ado, how I do -
When you are a medium, one of the most frustrating things on earth can be identifying a spirit in your home.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been practicing; there are always questions you have.
Should I deal with this or should I not? Do I even have time right now? Is it just going to go away in a few minutes? Maybe I should wait.
What if it really is an electrical issue? Wait, oh wait, that was a flicker again, and it’s not even windy.
Or :: hears the downstairs front door close:: is this a real intruder and should I call the police or what if it’s a ghost and I look like an idiot when the cops finally do show up?
Been there, my friends, been there.
These are the types of questions and thoughts that run through your mind when something spirit-maybe happens in the house, and then on top of that, you’re usually in the middle of something when it happens.
So what do you do when you're having a ghost or spirit around and you don't know who it is?
Do you deal with being haunted, and having a spirit visitor, or do you just get it go?
Dealing with a spirit in my home is something I handle like the weather.
If it passes in a very short amount of time, it’s a ”hmpf” from me, and then that’s that. A one-time event and I’m like, oh, a fluke. I don’t think much of it.
Now if it happens more than once, and something starts to linger around and starts to give me the creeps, or I see something two, three, maybe four times then, I’m interested.
That’s when I start to put my investigator hat on like I would with my clients.
It’s like being a professional chef or a professional photographer, really.
All your clients get the VIP investigative treatment, but at your home, you’re like the masseuse whose been massaging people all day, and someone asks for a massage or God forbid, you need one. It’s the last thing you do.
Identifying spirits and ghosts in the home 101
So basically, the way I identify spirits in the home is pretty easy once I get in the mood, though it does take some work with some of the weirder scenarios.
If I am seeing flashes of the appearance of someone, I just take some notes of their clothes, the era or period of their outfit, and if I can’t identify it, I look it up on the handy tool we all love called Pinterest. This helps me narrow down era which, of course, helps me get to the time, cause the location of death and then eventually, identity.
If I hear them - I'll just ask them to tell me their name and where they live. Bonus if you get one that does both.
Usually, if the spirit talks, it’s pretty direct like “Joseph” and “up the street” and they point the direction. I hear them externally usually, but other people hear the response in their own mind, which is sort of like ghost telepathy. Spirits don't have voice boxes, so some of them transfer thoughts, which is strange if you think about it, but also it's not. If you're in their energy field and we know that in science two things sharing an energy field also share electrons and chemical bonds when they interact, so it's not all that far off to imagine when you really get to pondering about it.
After that, the next day - or being realistic here - the next time I get to it, which could be in like five months, I take a hike up the street and look for clues.
Preferably I do it during the day, so no one sees me outside their home looking at mailboxes and insignias.
The last thing I want to deal with when trying to figure out a ghost mystery is a “Can I help you?” and have to come up with a way to explain myself when I don’t have a good one besides, "Excuse me yes, did someone named Joseph die here around 1778 or 1780? Or perhaps was it the next property over?"
So next, I just put the pieces together.
Did the ghost look German? And their name was Joseph? And they lived up the street? Okay, what about this German cemetery up the road in the direction they pointed where none of the headstones are legible except for the one that’s written in German with a big fat Joseph on the front? Family cemetery? Okay yes?
So sometimes it's that easy. Case closed. And sometimes it’s far easier than that and it’s just an obituary search, and you help cross them over, and then that’s that.
With a little bit of detective work, honestly, I’ve not yet had a situation yet where the mystery hasn’t been able to be solved in some sense.
If you’re reading this and seeing or feeling a spirit in your home, there are a few pieces of emotional advice I have in dealing with it, in addition to everything else mentioned above:
The first piece of advice I have is to… chill out. People noticing and sensing a spirit in their home is far more common than most people like to think. Just no one talks about it, giving it the air of taboo, which we should all try to change. But that's for another blog, not for today.
Next, rather than having a panic attack, which I've done and will tell you from experience, it doesn't help - try to think of yourself like Sherlock Holmes, and now you’re being given a fun mystery for solving. Look at you, a detective now.
Next, while you're doing this, don’t pay attention to ghost hunting shows involving demon scratches.
Yes, while it's important to be aware of the facts, all that’s gonna do is get you hyped up and give you a panic attack. It's like watching videos of chemical peels gone wrong when you're looking to get a facial. It's important to be aware of worst case scenario, yes... but you don't necessarily want to flood yourself with fears before you dive into something fairly mundane as this.
If you feel a sensation, congratulations, this is called clairsentience, it’s fine. Same with hearing your name be called - also fine.
If you don’t like having your name called or being touched, just tell whoever is touching you to knock it off. It’s what you would do if a random man touches your chest at a concert to admire your ~ crystals ~ and it works with ghosts too. Say no and be firm. An excuse me, no, is most of the time, all that it takes when dealing with a ghost or a spirit who crosses the boundary. They can hear you.
Now, given all above, what are the chances that it's not real, what you've experienced and actually, you're crazy? We have to consider all the options.
You have two choices on the way you think about it, and about yourself and the way you experience this whole thing, and here they are.
A. You can consider yourself crazy for experiencing this and you should be committed, perhaps also maybe you have a brain disorder. You need a scan and a professional. Also, you should probably not tell your boyfriend or wife, because then they’ll not love you after all because that’s just one step too far you’ve gone on the side of weird. You’ve crossed the line. This has really crossed the line.
B. You can relax, Prima Donna (that's what my mom used to say to me whenever I'd lose it as a kid over this stuff). This stuff is a lot more common than you think, and as long as it’s presented in the right way, at the right time, to the right people, using words that fit into the individual’s box you want to explain it to, it’s fine. You may even expand someone's horizons by talking about it, you never know. Most people find it kind of interesting.
So these are the two belief systems you can go with when dealing with these things in your life and it’s your choice which one you choose.
Once you let go of A being the only possible truth, you learn that it's uncanny because: yes, you can usually follow the threads of your ghost research back to actual true facts, which makes it, even more nuts and mind blowing. Hit up your historical society if you doubt me, go on.
All that said, of my biggest fears when starting identifying spirits, and I’m going to venture to say one of the biggest concerns of mediums when starting, is that they fear not what they are feeling and perceiving, but rather, what will X think of me if I bring this up.
Yes, the fear is not being loved by others because you're far weirder now than others bargained for.
So here's what I have to say about that:
Once I met with a medium, and I was crying with this same problem, and she said, “Hunny if I can find a man to love me, you find a man to love you.” And I did. He works in a totally different industry than me and everyone knows yet no one cares. It's great.
(If you have a few problems with snarky comments from yours or your partner's coworkers re: what you do for a living, how you do it, asking for readings at inappropriate times, people getting drunk and saying rude things at holiday parties and the like, to help others deal with this, I released a video in the Member Center this week on how to deal with all that like the lady or gent that you are, called "Responding to Questions About Your Gifts At Gatherings," members, see it here.)
Now going back to the previous point, I’m going to reiterate those words from the medium elder to you, and then add a few,
If I can find a man to love me, you can get a man, woman, to love you and also, find you're very, very interesting. An enigma. A pandora's box. A siren, honestly. Look at you mystic of the deep, gateway to the unknown, Ms. answers to the afterlife. You're amazing. You prodigy.
So that's that for solving ghost mysteries today.
Now let's recap.
Have a ghost mystery in your home? Here's how to solve it:
1. Decide if you even need to. One time events don't necessarily need solving nor will you always have enough data to solve it. If it happens more than once, then it's time to open the case books, but if it doesn't, it's possibly just a passing thing. Weird, but not necessarily something worth a ton of your time. But keep track for if it happens again then -
2. Use the clothing, appearance and looks of the ghost to narrow down time period and provide you with clues on where to look for the cause of death, identity, and location of life. Older spirits may only be identifiable by walking old headstones, where newer ones could be crossed checked with a standard obituary listing and/or newspaper reports. So this'll help you narrow it down.
3. If they speak - and not all ghosts and spirits do - ask their name and where they lived. Most ghosts and spirits are honest about this information, so write it down and then cross check it later with other details to further identify. If this makes you uneasy, check out my Release Your Fears eCourse and release your fears.
Finally, once you've identified a spirit, they usually leave you alone after that or you become friends with them, and you guys just start to peacefully coexist. But sometimes you do need to remove them.
For me, it's like spiders. As long as they don't come in the house too much and they aren't venomous, I'm cool with it and we all get along. Even if they do come in the house, if they walk away within 5 seconds, I let it go.
But if you're not cool with it, it's your house, and you make the rules, so you decide.
Most, but not all spirits can be crossed over or released from a space, which I talk more about in my eBook, Transitions: A Guide to Releasing Spirits from Stuck Spaces. Or you can learn more about by searching my blog and googling anything like "Amanda Meder" with "spirit boundaries." We also have plenty of resources in the Member's Portion of this site for this sort of thing. Other than that, all the best and let me know how it goes!
Amanda Linette Meder
PS. If you’re currently in the process of solving a spirit mystery at your house, there’s a private group in the Member’s Portion of the site called The Spirit Lounge, where we talk about all of these things and everyone helps everyone else put all their mystery pieces together. If you need some assistance, it's fun, so come join us.
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