The Dead and Their Estates: What You Need to Know
amanda linette meder
Do the dead care what happens to their stuff?
The short answer to this question is also the long answer to this question:
But let's take this post to talk about it and hash it out, as perhaps in the reasoning below you'll find the answer to your exact case or be able to extrapolate what's been done before to what is happening in your situation now to find your answer.
In full disclosure,
I'm not a lawyer, nor is this post written in the perspective of a representative for the living.
I'm a medium and this post is written from that perspective. I've had the ability to see and hear the dead since my childhood, in addition to the many other things I do and am interested in. Because of this, I'm often been called upon to settle estate disputes for my clients, acting as a mediator for the living and the dead.
In the post, I'm sharing a few pieces of insight that have emerged from those interactions.
So let's begin, shall we?
Image a scenario where you, a now adult kid, is promised x famous wooden bowl when your father crosses over into the pearly gates, but now said ex-wife is claiming that bowl is hers. They got it for their wedding, and you can't have it.
Or vice versa, you're a new widow with adult kids that aren't yours biologically, but you love them like your own children, and now they're blaming you for hiding all sorts of your now deceased husband's wares that you didn't even know about, until perhaps... this morning.
Pain can make people do crazy things. That's first and foremost.
Second, the first thing professionals will tell you is to consult the Will, but in this case, the most important thing to understand is that most people don't update their will for every little bitty memento promised, either because of a lapse of mind or in thinking that in the event of their deaths, their family members will act reasonably, trust each other, and foster goodwill in the event of a tragedy.
Which isn't always the case.
What your father or your husband (whichever scenario we're following here) likely didn't plan for, is something most people don't: that things can go cahoots.
People will lose their minds in grief, literally, and the ways in which they'll act isn't always predictable, reasonable or fair.
Now to the answer...
If your loved one genuinely promised you a gift in a moment of consideration and intimacy, spiritually, it's yours. Hopefully, he or she wrote it down, because if he didn't, your actually having of it, in a legal sense, may get complicated depending on who else wants that gift, how high value it is, who knows you have it, and how mentally stable everyone is at the time.
On a soul level, if you're fighting for what's right, let's talk about what owner of the estate would have wanted for themselves and for everyone else considered.
What was most important to him/her while alive? That everyone got along? That the bitter daughter didn't end up spiting everyone in the end? Talk about a happy ending.
Or that people just forget about material things and get on with their lives already?
The answer to these above questions are going to be your indication as to whether or not this person cares in the afterlife, where every spoon and knickknack goes in death, and how hard you fight for them/it/what's right.
All in all most deceased people don't care what happens to their stuff.
But some do care what happens to their stuff especially in the cases of:
- Certain sentimental objects
- Objects that are considered highly significant to someone they loved still living
- If the object in question and the having of it is directly related to the safety, happiness and security of a person(s) they love, generally this last one is a romantic partner, where the two former options really apply to any person, associate or child of the deceased
For example, in the case of decisions regarding the keeping of the house and deciding who gets to stay in it and for how long... the dead usually care. Believe you me, it matters to dad whether or not you throw out his wife-now-widow from their formerly shared home in Malibu to sell it for profit, no matter how badly she behaves in the grief following his loss.
Widows have it tough because they don't just loose a someone, they loose a future.
Moving on -
If you're worried that perhaps your person won't cross over until the estate gets settled and the family stops fighting, this happens too, so you're right to be a tad concerned. It's a consideration.
But, in all fairness, with a little cajoling, you (Yes you) can generally convince the deceased that you've got this figured out and they're free to go do what they need to do in the spirit world and go into their next job as a soul. Doing this can feel like a relief to them, after all, you've let them off the hook. So, if you need help crossing them over, please see this article here or for more advanced guidance on the issue, check out my eBook Transitions on the topic. Generally, this is just a conversation that takes place, though some people do like to turn it into a ceremony, and that can be very beautiful.
Also, if you haven't already, consider hiring a medium.
Hiring a medium can help you cross-check the information and the hunches you're already receiving from your loved one, the dead, or help bring someone forward some more information from the other side, many of whom are happy to discuss affairs of the estate in the afterlife when asked. For a list of practitioners who can do this, click here.
If you do book a session with a medium, and your deceased isn't able to come forward in the session, it's likely because they're in a transition phase or in their life review, so generally if that happens, a representative will come forward to speak on their behalf. This is usually the mother or the grandmother of the deceased, and if neither has crossed yet, then it's often a friend of the family that steps forward. Sometimes a childhood mentor of the person involved. So just keep that in mind going forward.
All in all, the people I talk to on the otherside, really just want two things: for everyone to get along and for everyone to get the fair gifts they've been promised if they've been promised or insinuated.
As far as the house, the car and the dog are concerned... whatever would make everyone happiest and most content, with the least amount of shake-up, because grief is hard enough, is usually what I hear from my deceased. If someone is lying about something, they'd usually like that to be resolved, as well. The truth will set you free. And for God's Sake's people, life is too short to bicker over material goods! That last one is a common message I hear, too.
Estate issues tend to bring out the true motives and colors of those around you, so from an intuitive sense, just watch carefully who is doing what in a time of stress, and use those observations to decide what's healthiest for you and who you want around you moving forward. A death can bring many realizations about the true nature of things, and these moments come for a reason. Don't them for granted.
To end, I'd like to quote:
"It's not about the money,"... as a phrase I hear a lot.
Amanda Linette Meder
Mediums regularly consult with the living on matters such as estate planning, historical land mapping, and as such, they often specialize in healing and helping to find resolution on many other types of matters and unfinished business affairs. Resolution being complete when both sides are content.
Other Articles You May Enjoy:
- Is Your Loved One is Crossed Over?
- Starting Over: Re-Learning The Communication Process After Death
- How to Cross-Over A Deceased Loved One Who is Now a Spirit
- From Crossing Over to Connection: A Guide to Life After Death
- What Happens To The Soul After Sudden Death: What To Expect
- Is It OK To Tell Someone If You Know Or Suspect Their Loved One Hasn't Crossed Over Yet?
- Spirit Q&A: Someone Close to Me Just Died and Now I Sense the Presence of Spirits. What’s Happening?