The Downsides of Being a Psychic Medium (Things No Medium Ever Talks About, But Should)
We're a secretive bunch, us mediums. Spending all day delving into the emotions of others, yet rarely having a chance to discuss our own. In this post, I discuss.
Hi! I’m Amanda Meder.
If you're new to my blog, let me introduce myself:
I’m a professional psychic medium who teaches other psychic mediums how to do what they do and how to be better while doing it.
Normally, I'm a happy go lucky gal who strives my best to be a beacon of light in the community I serve, but there are and have been several things about the work of mediumship that have irked me for a long time.
Being a medium is not easy, I’ve written about this before.
Dealing with the public, is also not easy.
And before I move forward in my career and off these topics altogether, I wanted to share with you some of the biggest problems I have doing the work that I do.
What you’ll find listed below are some of the things that irritate me and many other mediums who work in my community.
Many mediums don’t public discuss the hardships (or irritations) of their work because of a social stigma that we’re supposed to be happy and delighted doing God’s work and feeling blessed to have our gifts all the time. Most days I feel like this, but not all days.
If you’re a new reader, this is the first time you’ll ever read anything like this on the blog.
If you’re an old reader, this will be the last.
But for myself - and for my entire community - I have to get this stuff off my chest.
Here are the things I hate about being a medium:
Much of the public holds the view that mediums should offer their gift for free while at the same time, being appalled that I would suggest that they work for free. While us mediums often have natural gifts, we’ve honed them, practiced them, and taken training programs to improve them - all to offer our gifts to you as a high-quality experience.
A professionally practicing medium is no different than any skilled technician who has sharpened their skills to serve you better - and our time has value. Furthermore, mediums are HUMAN.
We have bills to pay, people to feed and are required to pay for the utilities needed to host the space to even be offering your reading in. All of these things cost money, and the basis of ANY career on earth is time + skills = compensation.
Mediums are not excluded from having to make a living and we do so based on offering our skills to others. Furthermore, before you judge, remember that many mediums DO offer their gifts for free (we volunteer our time more than any other skill based community).
Before you reach out to criticize one, check their website, follow them around on weekends or screen their phone calls - because we do help people for free - and just because you haven’t personally witnessed it doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.
Mediums judge other mediums...constantly and this is a real bummer.
We’re on the same team guys. Come, on. If you can’t be for your friends, who are you for? Mediums, we have enough to deal with when it comes to handling the public and their judgment, so stop carrying on that judgment torch and turning on your colleagues. If a medium charges a higher rate than you, there’s a reason (and it’s probably related to the cost of living in their area and their collective administration overhead). If a medium is on TV, they’re authentic. End of story.
If someone questions you about your opinion on a medium you’ve never met - you have no room to speak on it. Because you don’t know them. So, stop. Recently, while I was teaching one of my 13-week mediumship training programs, another medium offering a similar program wrote an inflammatory post of judgment on my classes.
If you need to tear someone else down to promote yourself, it’s time you spend the time to take a good hard look at why you’re doing that rather than spending your time looking at someone else. In the meantime, can I live?!
There are clients who think that when they’ve paid for your time, that are given an all-access pass to treat you like garbage. No. Not all clients are ideal clients, unfortunately, and because of this, I now have a screening process for who I do a reading for. This is the reason many mediums have a waitlist, or why you have to call their office for pricing instead of being able to book online, or why you have to join their membership to access their energy.
For a while there, though, I didn’t have a screening process and anyone - ANYONE - Any.One. On the internet who passed by my website could buy a session with me. Any. One. I thought it was great having my energy available and readings open to anyone who wanted one - until someone stomped on my heart.
I forgave and forgot, then it happened again.
Now I have a strict screening process for who gets a reading with me, and if you’re a medium, you should consider having one, too.
You do not get paid for someone to have the luxury of sh*ting in your living room or shoving a pie of emotional garbage in your face. You get paid to translate. If anything, require people email or call your office first, BEFORE they can buy your time. And hey, if you make it through my screening and still treat me poorly, guess what, I’m entitled to end your reading at any time. So, remember to be nice to your medium. They’re doing their damn best.
When you’re a medium, complete strangers feel like they’re justified to a total explanation of your life. What? No. While I do my best to see every opportunity as a chance to educate, I’m not required to tell you anything about why I do what I do, or how I came to be here, if you’re going to be rude about it.
Furthermore, if you’re not a medium yourself, and you’re reading this, please know that most mediums are well-intentioned individuals who never planned to be mediums in the first place - but then their gifts took over and they were kinda left with two choices - to go crazy or to give in.
I chose choice B and it was the best decision I ever made. If you really want to hear an explanation about my life, I’m happy to share it with you . . . so long as you’re keeping it respectful.
People forget that you’re a real human with feelings. When your job is to tap into Divine Guidance for other people, all day - every day - people sometimes forget that you are a human person with feelings.
People that you know and love, mind you. They’ll forget that you - just like other humans - get sick sometimes and need a break and no, you can’t do their reading or look into it after baby’s bedtime.
They’ll forget that even if you can’t respond to every email that comes across your desk, you DO see most of the emails that come through. Why? Because for the majority of mediums, our office staff consists of our best friends, husbands, and our little sisters.
Recently, an email came across my desk that a reader thought everything I offered was useless to them. If you’ve been following me a while, you already know I pour my heart and soul into my website and all of the free and paid resources I offer. So, that hurt. We have hearts, people. We have hearts!!
We don’t owe anyone anything, though. I feel called to my life’s purpose but, for some reason, when you’re a psychic medium, there are people out there who think that if they just throw money at you, you have to give them a reading.
If you don’t, you’re a cruel, awful person who doesn’t care. Readings are intimate experiences, ya’ll. They’re kind of the energetic equivalent of sexual intercourse. They are emotional, they are vulnerable, and they are highly personal.
In readings, I learn secrets about my clients they haven’t shared with any other soul on this earth. Because of this, I go back and forth between knowing that I have to charge money for my time and feeling like doing that is somehow a form of prostitution (since total strangers in effect ‘pay’ to share an intimate space with me).
Anyway, see the previous point - if I am declining a reading, there’s a good reason for it.
Your authenticity is always in question. And I hate that. I know I chose this life and I understand there are unspoken devils in every vocation, but this is the one I hate the most.
I’m an upstanding person who's not always questioning your worth as a human, so stop questioning mine. It’s really not up for debate anyway - especially since at current time - I’m not selling my readings to anyone. I do what I do and I believe that my gifts are authentic, as do others. You don’t have to be one of them. Live your life.
At the end of the day, most mediums are loving people who genuinely want to help - and to be honest - to do this work you HAVE to care - because giving readings to others is a lot like going into the emotional trenches. It’s swampy, dirty work - but the good kind - because it’s healing. That said, they aren’t always fun.
Emotionally, they can be hard to handle. There are lots of angry, hurt, grieving and pain filled people in this world who make it to my desk and handling those emotions is not always something I’m up for. Really depends on the day.
People try to judge the realness of a medium (and the mediumship community) based on one reading they received or overheard. I wouldn’t judge Picasso and his talents based on one charcoal sketch I saw, and I similarly wouldn’t judge all musicians based on that one guy playing guitar down at the train station.
Being a good artist is subjective, right? It depends on the lens of the viewer, their perspective on what makes good art, which painting style and era matches your own personal aesthetic, how long that artist has been practicing, how ‘in the flow’ they were that day the created that piece, and who their peers and mentors are.
When evaluating a medium, look at their entire body of work, not just one reading, to find the value in what they do. If you look hard enough, you’ll find virtue in nearly every medium out there. What’s a good medium to one person, may be a bad one to another. But again, that’s not for me - or for you - to judge.
To end, let's talk fraudulent mediums.
In case you are not aware, there was a period in the French Victorian Era (yes, the late 1800’s) where there were a lot of misinformed people out there who saw mediumship as merely the performance of “magic tricks.” And instead of authentically developing their gifts, they took to stage as magicians to perform arts of the Otherworld.
These people were not real mediums - they were magicians. And they marketed themselves this way! However, the public has a long memory of these magicians acting as mediums, and genuine mediums still pay the price for the residual memory of these Victorian magic acts.
Today, as they always have, mediums get their clientele from word of mouth and with the now rapid fire communication network we call the internet, truly fraudulent mediums never do make it very far. Thus, any medium with any following that you find - chance are - they’re real to the core, and they’ve worked hard on building their reputation.
There are things that I absolutely LOVE about my job as a medium, and clearly, I loved it enough to walk away from a blossoming, successful career as an environmental scientist.
I love my job so much now; I can’t even fathom going back to the work I was doing before.
I love crying with people - in laughter and in the release of pain.
I love helping people who weren’t that good at sharing their emotions while alive, fumble through after death. My favorite part about giving readings is when a father apologizes to his daughter. Maybe it’s because I have a soft spot for bad fathers because my dad was one or maybe it’s because each time I hear a deceased father apologize to his daughter for not being there, I feel like it’s partially an apology to me. I don’t know.
I also love reconnecting husbands with their wives.
Men - especially the ones we are romantically involved with - are so silly and the way that they continue to support their wives in death always gives me goosebumps. It makes me hope that when my significant other dies, he’ll be just like all these other supportive husbands on the other side.
I love that in my job, I’m confronted with the reality of death every day and this used to sadden me to THE MAX.
I now realize that each time I am confronted with death in a reading, I am nicer, more loving and more appreciative of the people in my life - because I realize they could die at any minute.
Being so involved with death is a gift I am given to remind myself always to live as though you may die - because at any moment - you could. Seriously, you could. All of my clients who didn’t do anything to deserve the pain they are in are truth to this.
And finally, I love that in my job, I get help people just like me every day. I grew up feeling lonely, isolated and I always felt like something was wrong with me because of my gifts. I never had anyone to relate to, and this made me very, very sad.
But, at some point, I realized there must be other mediums out there like me feeling just as alone as I did - since I existed, someone else must exist out there like me, right? Little did I know, there were thousands of other people just like me - and through this blog, I get to connect with them.
These days, one of my main jobs is to help other mediums embrace their gifts - and in the process, I don’t feel alone any more. I have a community of friends - in my readers, in my members and in the majority of the people I come into contact each day.
So I’m not quitting.
Even with all the bad that comes with it, I just love it too much to leave it alone.
Amanda Linette Meder