In my experience, no one is nearly as mean or judgmental to you as you think they’re going to be. My biggest fear was ‘coming out of the closet,’ and when I did - sure, there were some people who judged (people who were already the judgmental type, like my aunt), but most people replied with something like,
“You know, you have always kind of talked about weird things happening in your home.”
We amp ourselves up to be rejected - or at least I did - and I need you to know that most of the time, telling people you’re a medium is a far less serious thing than you make it out to be.
Finding a romantic partner to accept you isn’t that hard either. I am already kind of an interesting gal - I’ve taught outdoorsy classes to a primarily male audience in the deep South, I frequently take off for days in the wilderness off the grid all by myself. I love painting my nails, eating bacon, and always wearing slippers.
My favorite stores are simultaneously Ulta and CVS for various reasons. Tacking on psychic medium to all that isn’t that hard for people to accept. I gather you’re probably just as interesting as me and when you find the right person, lay it all out on the table, chances are - if they are the right person - they can swallow it - and love you for it.
Remember: the right person will love you for it.
Not everyone who asks you for help actually needs it. When you announce yourself as a psychic medium and then go on to develop a business from it, people will come from all corners of the Earth to ask you for free help. They will invade your space on Facebook, email you at all hours and send you extreme drama story after extreme drama story - and you are not obligated to reply. Nor, can you cater to all the needs of every stranger that wants something from you. You. Just. Can’t. You are one person. With one goal. With a limited amount of time. Please remember that if someone genuinely needs your service, they will go through the appropriate channels you’ve set up to do so and they’ll be respectful about it.
It’s not your job to justify yourself to haters. Do not make it your sole mission to correct the skeptic, justify your work to someone who blatantly disrespected you or write an entire blog post directed at the one horrible person who emailed you at 2:03 am. Do not spend the time. Do. Not. Do it. Focusing on the people who not only hate you but likely hate others, will just bring you down. Your time is better spent replying to and spending your energy on the 98% of people who think you’re amazing for being so brave. You are not required to turn anyone into a believer - it’s everyone’s own job to decide what they believe and seek out the experiences they need to accept new viewpoints.
Try not to work yourself up about what is and what is not happening. Developing your abilities is a magical journey and I’ll be honest - it doesn’t always make sense. I've written an eGuide, The Medium's Toolkit, to help navigate others through it and help you get your bearings on it. You won’t always ‘get’ what those colors mean and you won’t totally understand what on Earth happened in that last reading. Just ride the wave. Lookup symbolism when you feel like it, but try not to nit-pick it apart. Take it in, accept what’s happening and generally, sooner, rather than later, it will all make sense.
If you practice hard enough, your abilities will develop naturally on their own. Malcolm Gladwell says in his book Outliers: The Story of Success (Amazon Link) that there is one thing that separates the Pros from those who are just average - thousands of hours of practice. Same is true for mediums. The best mediums I know are obsessive about always developing and learning and if you want to be the best, get on that train! Just like if you go to the gym every day and use the machines, you will get stronger, your muscles will have more definition and you’ll get noticeably more flexible.
Stop comparing yourself to other mediums. Slow down. Stop. Don’t go to that other medium’s website and become overwhelmed with all the work you need to do on your own site. Your journey is your journey. You have a different client base, you are serving a different audience and your message is entirely unique. Not only that - we all have different abilities and ways information comes to us. Not getting names? Cool down, that’s more a Clairaudient thing. Embrace the fact you’re seeing clairvoyant images. Not everyone experiences that. And it’s special, too.
Reading are not mandatory. Not all mediums give readings, just like not all counselors take individual appointments. Some counselors work in elementary schools, write books on counseling, sit on educational boards, develop non-profit programs, run counseling websites, teaching counseling classes, motivationally speak in auditoriums. Likewise, you are not balled and chained to having to give readings. Some mediums lead paranormal investigations, some use their abilities to channel books or music, others use their gifts to receive guidance on their healing services . . . sometimes I use my abilities to ask my Guides what the best dish at a new restaurant is. It’s not all about the readings - and if you aren’t about it, you don’t have to do it. That’s not what makes you a medium.
What makes someone a medium is . . . that they are able to perceive the Spirit World and they relay what they have learned from their interactions with the Spirit World to the living, in whatever avenue that manifests (not always readings!)
Not all other mediums will be your friends (or even be friendly). When I was first setting up my business here in Philadelphia (after moving from California), I reached out to all the other mediums in the area to make new friends. Of the 10 or so I contacted, only one actually replied and talked to me. Ouch. But hey, in some people’s mind business is business and I’m a competitor, not a friend. Just think about the workshops we could have taught together!
The world of psychic mediums is just as diverse as the world of research scientists. Some research scientists you meet at conferences will be the friendly, fun loving kind of person who you’ll want to grab a beer with after the colloquium. Some will turn their nose up at you as soon as you offer your hand out in friendship. Remember that not everyone will match your style - and that’s okay! We don’t all have to be friends to be respectful of one another.
Whatever you do, represent yourself positively (and don't talk bad about other mediums). You are the face of the Spirit World - the loving, kind, the compassionate and the supportive community on the Other Side. People will see you that way. Because of this, try to keep a positive face in everything that you do. Let's not argue in front of the kids, please!
Frustrated about something? Furious about an email? Super peeved about what a client did to you? Vent, vent, vent away to your husband, your sister, your best friend or another medium in secret - but please - whatever you do - keep it out of the public eye.
The last thing we need is more negative stereotypes. As a medium, you’re an ambassador of the ‘brand’ of Spirit and the spokesperson for all mediums - so please, keep it positive.
Most of all, relax. The world of Spirit is a new and exciting place. You’re going to learn so much, that just by saying that, I feel like I’m dwarfing the true magnitude of how much your life could possibly change just by accepting your gifts.
Stepping into your abilities is a beautiful, transformative and potentially life-changing decision.
Amanda Linette Meder
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