When I was 6 years old, my father and my grandmother sat me down at our dining room table.
I thought I was in trouble.
But, they went on to describe something else. There was a family curse. In each generation, one person was born with it. There was nothing you could to do remove it or get rid of it. It just was.
My father had the curse. My grandmother had it. And so did her mother before that.
And now, I was the one born with the family curse.
The curse was described as the ability to see things that other people couldn’t see.
For some in the lineage, it meant being able to predict death or imminent tragedy. For others, it meant being haunted by night terrors - a more extreme version of nightmares. Through the night terrors, is the way that my father described how his ‘curse’ had manifested itself in him.
There was no mention of anything called clairvoyance. No mention of the Spirit world or the ability to see those in Spirit.
The curse was, 'You can see things other people can’t see.' And that was that.
There was no explanation that went along with it or any description of what to expect, what to do with it or how to handle it.
I was just told that I had it - and that was all.
How it Manifested for Me
At 6 years old, I was already waking up nightly in a sweat and a screaming panic due to nightmares. Which, is probably the reason why they felt it was time to tell me about this family secret I’d previously heard nothing about.
After this initial sit down at the dining room table, there was little to no conversation about the curse and what it meant for me. I just knew that now, I was different from other kids.
And in an effort to understand it in some way, I made some reasonable conclusions.
- Being able to see translucent people in the attic windows of other houses in our neighborhood was bad - and this must be somehow part of the curse.
- Seeing people standing outside my bedroom window at night was any different than what any other kid saw, and this too was probably a side effect of the curse.
- Also, the nightmares I had, which I called, ‘nightmares that you have when you are awake,’ were also probably part of the curse.
In my ‘nightmares,’ I could see dream-like creatures with my eyes open, while completely awake.
I would see creatures at night that ran the gamut from looking kind of like monsters to others looking mostly like people, to others still, looking more like animals - but they all had one thing in common - they were all translucent - I could see through them.
These ‘dream creatures’ are what I considered Spirits to be - as I now realize that’s exactly what they were but, at the time, I didn’t know that. I didn’t realize that these dream creatures might be deceased people and animals until much later in my life, because no one told me.
We never talked about the curse or what it meant.
In my family, the ability to ‘see things’ is considered a legitimate ability - so I didn’t have to deal with too many people telling me it wasn’t real.
BUT, my ability was considered a curse, a taboo and something to keep swept under the rug - so I was never allowed to discuss it or talk about it openly. Which, in turn, created another type of environment in which to live where I was encouraged to I suppress my gifts.
Until this very day, the ‘curse’ is something my family largely doesn’t talk about and is mostly swept under the rug.
Whether or not they want to accept it, my brothers and sisters all have some level of spiritual ability, too.
Amanda Linette Meder
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