Dealing With Family Members and Friends Asking for "Advice"...

when what they really want is a free readings

Psychic mediums often face the trouble of both how to deal with their new found gifts and how to juggle everyone who now wants and foresees themselves getting access to those new found gifts.  

Fountain of youth just open up right down the street?

Of course, you're going to want to check it out! 

Believe it or not, once word gets out about your abilities, you may get more calls for your advice than you'd ever expected. 

And this is great - both for building your business and for building support and an authenticity seal from those who want to cheer you and support you on. 

Though most psychic mediums have unwittingly been giving out their psychic advice free for years now - once they start to realize how frequently people are unnecessarily tapping in, it's natural you'd start to feel irked. 

Asking a therapist for relationship advice at a cocktail party is snafu, and likewise, it's really the same concept when you ask a psychic medium about your dead grandmother, what angels he or she sees around you, or picking his/her brain about what color shirts you have in your closet, at a house party. 

It's not always polite yet - 

The reality is that the majority of people generally lack an of understanding of how taxing it can be to help people all day, and the general every day struggles your life, meaning they'll happily step all over your boundaries in favor of their own needs. Also, the same people who walk all over your boundaries, also don't respect their own. 

Teaching your work/life balance and boundaries to the ones you love, about your life and what it's like to be you, and why you can't be on the spot all the time, can help everyone involved understand each other more, and it can give others a chance to get to know yo,u more.

Never think of explaining your boundaries and rules and why you do them as useless information.

In general, people want to connect with you and they want to understand you, they just don't know how. 

You can set the boundaries with your friends and family by help explaining to them about you and how your gifts work plus:

 ~ Teaching them how to get similar information themselves using oracle cards or pendulums and so on. 

~ Talking to them honestly about what your daily life is like and when your disconnect hours are, so they have a better idea of when and if it's ever okay to ask. 

~ By asking them that unless they otherwise, most friends and family members will stop pestering you for advice once you promise if you ever have a message for them from Spirit, you won't hesitate in delivering it to them. Two people are helped here: they don't have to uncomfortably ask all the time for stuff and feel guilty about then, and you are able to deliver messages as they come, without any pressure to perform from outside sources, which will make you feel more at ease. 

~ By creating a boundary that while you may not to charging friends and family a flat rate for services, instead you may do a gift giving exchange for providing spiritual consultations among your peer group. Such setting a specific family and friend discount, or by offering a unique gift exchange policy just for your friends and fam where everyone gets to trade talents.

For example, set up a trade of gifts: their talents for yours - dinners, wines, home brewed craft beers, hand crafted soaps, and herbal supplies, are all things I've accepted with friends and family in exchange for some serious "advice." Some cultures accept the sacred gift of Tobacco in exchange for the sacred guidance of a known shaman. Many people actually love doing this and find it innate, sensible, and a helpful guide on what to do, as the practice is very similar to the one of giving a hostess gift.

~ Or by referring them to your blog, if you have one (if not, here's how to start one), for more information on said topic. In fact, the first psychic blog I ever created was a FAQs page, designed only for my friends and family who were asking me questions all the time. That was the beginning of this website you see today, and it really helped give me some space, because I didn't have to repeat myself all the time. And now I have a full time running blog from doing that, so it ended up being a win-win for all. 

These are just a few tips you can use, to create healthy work-life boundaries between you and your dearest friends who may very well just be excited, while at the same time, not intentionally knowing they're doing anything they believe you wouldn't already enjoy talking about. 

But in my eBook, Managing Your Gifts, I go into more detail on this - on dealing with individuals who may be either intentionally or accidentally stepping on your work-life boundaries, abusing privileges to you privacy, along with a few tools you can use for any spirits, who may be stepping on your boundaries, too. 

Usually, if one party is pushing your boundaries, the other is too in some way - but don't worry! 

We've all dealt with it and many of us still are. 

So, to recap:

Setting boundaries and educating the ones you love on what healthy boundaries means for you and soon you'll find people not only respect your boundaries more but also, they begin to respect you and take your work more seriously, too, which is a win-win all around. 

To end -

Once, I asked the medium Susan Olney, on what she thought the major life lessons of a psychic medium was.

Why would a psychic medium be given this role on life, what did they need to learn? 

Without hesitation she replied! 


Being a psychic medium is a great profession for those who need to work on their boundaries.

And as a medium you learn that lesson super fast by having to take boundaries learning double duty - because when you're a medium, there are people crossing your boundaries all the time, and so can spirits, so you've got it coming from all angles, making the ability to heal it in this lifetime, greater.

Psychic mediums do have to work on their boundary work a lot more than others, especially since the work can be so emotional (to learn more about that, read this post from Ashley Strong, An Open Letter to the Friends and Family of a Psychic Medium).  

To end, psychic mediums are often expected or even pressured to give free guidance, but that's just an old stigma - we can change this only by talking about it. 

But, just as the therapist is allowed to have off hours, so are you - and the more, we, as a collective enforce the idea that tapping in can require really be some serious focus and work, the more understanding we allow our loved ones to become of us.

Which is truly what we all seek. 

So reaffirming you boundaries can help family, friends, and others love you understand your needs on a deeper level and in turn, it'll help you identify ways in which you can use your gifts to serve those closest to you, who are most likely to be the ones that also serve you. 

In most cases -

The reasons why family and friends ask for a quick peek to something real quick is not out of maliciousness or a knowing disrespect, but simply out of an excitement, pure belief, and a total faith in your gifts (because why else would they be asking if they didn't already respect your work, your thoughts and your insights, independent of your day job?)

And, to it usually only confirms their own fears, validating in some way what they've already received. 

So unless it's an over abuse or a tragedy of the commons type situation, where too many people are tapping in and you need a real break, I say why not cook a professional meal for your loved ones once and a while, even though yes, you may be already professional chef for work!

It'll give everyone you love an opportunity to love you even more because then they truly get to see you when your talents shine and also - 

An opportunity for you to share your talents with the people who matter most to you in your life and whose survival and success to you, is also most important to you. 

Amanda Linette Meder