When I first came out as a medium (and as a sister, friend or coworker who sees the deceased), there were few people who stood by and supported me along my journey.
While this is mostly because each person’s journey is almost always a solitary one, this is also because most people around you, aren’t walking your exact same path. With everyone walking differing paths, at some point, paths diverge at points of change.
And in deciding to walk in the shoes of who you are and admit to those around you what the truth is of your experience, you are choosing to walk a path of change. . . and there will be some who do not choose to walk with you.
The journey to self acceptance is also the journey to social acceptance
As I was just beginning to open up the truth of my own abilities, I was on a journey of figuring out what it meant to understand and accept myself.
Every few months, few days or few steps of the journey, I continually picked up stones along the path, and asked,
“Does this stone fit? What about here? Does this one work well for me to carry?”
If it didn’t fit into the puzzle I was trying to uncover, I tossed it out.
If I didn’t yet know if it fit into the puzzle I was trying to uncover, I also tossed it out.
And sometimes, I accidentally tossed out the stones that were really, beautiful glittering emeralds - on accident. In my haste and with my untrained eye, I couldn’t always see which stones were good for me, due to all of my own dust I’d kicked up in the trail as I was walking.
I have ‘un-accepted’ certain stones of my life because they didn’t fit or because I wasn’t sure what did or did not fit.
Each and every person, interest, passion, career or object is a stone. On your own journey of accepting, you make decisions between what gets thrown out and what gets to stay.
And sometimes, to really decide which stones you need on your path, the stones that really help you chart the trail, you have to get rid of all the stones.
To find out what it is you accept, you have to remove all of the ingredients.
Think of it this way . . .
When you are adding spices to a pot, and you come upon an allergen, you have to remove all the ingredients of the pot - to pinpoint what was the allergen.
In most cases, perfectly good, beneficial ingredients, are removed, simply as a process of narrowing down that one allergen.
In openly admitting that you see and hear those in Spirit, you are a foreign, exotic spice now.
In someone else’s pot.
Do you make the pot more delicious?
Are you the special ingredient no one can identify but somehow pulls it all together?
Do the elements within your nature draw even the most particular chefs to enjoy your dish?
But there there some people, that when they encounter such a glorious exotic spice and expression of flavor, decide haphazardly that you may be an allergen, and decide to err on the side of caution, and toss you, out of their pot.
For the same reasons that you may have feared ‘coming out’ of your psychic closet, are the same reasons that others may fear coming out of theirs.
The fear of social acceptance is one of the biggest issues that many intuitives and spirit communicators struggle with. And that’s because it’s a real concern.
Whenever you enter to someone’s life and add a new element, there will be some who love what you’ve done and others, who disagree.
When I first ‘came out’ as a medium, my fear of social acceptance of what it meant to be a medium, was on some days, much bigger than my fear of seeing Spirits at night. And I had to decide that the fear of ‘what if I’m not accepted?’ was less important than experiencing the potential opposite - of finding love, being loved and feeling loved.
In order to accept someone, wholeheartedly and unconditionally, you have to have come to a place of release of fear, of what the worst potential might be of adding the spice, and then move to a place of place of compassion and understanding for another person, and begin to consider what benefits their spice might add to the dish.
You have to choose to accept and understand the other.
Some people aren’t ready to do that yet. Some people fear taking in a new perspective, new person or new element as something scary, rather than something beautiful and interesting. Doing so, asks for contemplation, which may lead to change a belief or a collection of beliefs from their own life’s experiences. This risk is sometimes considered too upsetting and too difficult to do, when compared to doing nothing - and making no change at all.
If you are not accepted by others, does this mean you stop existing as a spice?
No, because you’re as normal as Nutmeg, and if ‘they’ ever dared to travel to Costa Rica, they’d see you were so delightful, you were a favorite of all the birds in the forest.
You don’t change who you are because a person in a foreign country doesn’t appreciate the Nutmeg, but rather, you have the opportunity to take your exotic spices back to your home country, to be appreciated. To the place where, the inhabitants know and understand the value of someone like you.
Start by finding the place and the inhabitants of that place, that make you feel welcome and accepted.
If you fear social acceptance, stop hanging out with the people who think Nutmeg is weird. Find a group of people who love you, your cooking and the flavor that you can bring to their life. They exist. Please don’t give up if you haven’t found them yet.
Join a class. Move to a new town. Stop and talk to a new friend.