why soulmate connections are so painful (and tips for finding light in the darkest moments)
A soul contract is a sacred contract you made with your soul and your Spirit for the development for your being. To move from a lower state of energy to the highest state of energy. To move into the path of love and truth. Connecting with soulmates through contracted agreements is a path of learning and growth and yes there can be growing pains.
Each lifetime that we experience, we get closer and closer to walking in alignment with this path, and we move farther and farther away from the darkness that keeps us from it.
If you're reading this article, it's a guarantee you are on the upward side of this spectrum. While there though, darkness is continuing to shed.
So if you have decided to walk the path of truth, integrity, honesty, and love in this lifetime - or if you are thinking about right now, you are going to be making one of the hardest decisions on your life, to honor your path and how you deserve to be treated.
Life is a rolling valley so because of this it's not all canyons of gumdrops.
And by now you may be asking yourself,
Why is following my path so painful? Can’t it be more comfortable to walk in the light of my way? To support my divine calling? Why am I becoming estranged from those I love? What gives?
Moreover, finally, you may be wondering,
Is it even worth it anymore?
To follow your soul contract, you are, by design, learning lessons that bring you closer to the truth, to the light of who you are and moving back to your pure state of Self.
You are like a rubber balloon being filled up first. Filling up the first balloon with the first few blows is always the most difficult and then as the balloon stretches, it gets easier.
Likewise, when you stretch as you grow, at first, that rubber is going to be tough - there is going to be more resistance, but as you stretch, the rubber weakens and the pressure of the air increases, making growing pains less difficult as you go.
Soul contract lessons are like crossing off Xs on a to-do list.
These are your chores, the things that need to get done as you prepare to be the person you are meant to be. How you are going to live and how you want to be.
While others are thinking about the list, avoiding the list, pacing around the house with the list in their hands, and it grows.
Have you ever wanted to quit your job, and the longer you waited to do it, you found yourself feeling only more trapped?
Have you found yourself wanting to break up with a partner in the early stages, only to stay and find yourself stuck with someone you didn’t really like all that much?
Have you found yourself tolerating a friendship that was becoming negative, but to spare feelings, you stayed in this relationship, only to wish you had new friends who appreciated you?
I have. And these experiences too, are painful.
So just biting off small pieces of that list is one way to make the lessons less painful.
This pain is your soul’s motivation for you to change. The more you feel it, the more you are motivated to seek things that move you out of it.
So to move through the pain more gracefully, continue to try different healthy options until you find one that pays you back and brings you joy.
The more and more you begin to honor and notice the callings of your soul, even at the smallest level, such as doing one small task to honor yourself (eating at a lunch break, for example, instead of answering that email), the contractual obligations feel less intense.
This pain, again, is your soul calling out for your attention, for help on its journey. Its purpose is to get you back to your sunny path of sunlight. Into your vortex of Light. To aspire to your calling.
If you are feeling pain in a soul contract situation, change your situation immediately to do something good for you - eat, rest, balance your books - and then continue on with the contract.
Sometimes contracts are painful because we are holding too tightly on things that need to die, be let go of, or changed. (To release things that need to be let go, check out this article on how to cut cords, or for the membership program, the calling back your energy meditation in the Member's Meditation Listening Room).
Trimming is required for growth in any creature. We shed cells, hair, organic matter and likewise with the physical, we also shed emotional ties. Following your soul contract, you are chopping off old leaves left and right, and this means, releasing.
Many times, as you complete contracts, this means you may be releasing very heavy painful emotions that you have been carrying in your suitcase for a long, long time. If you’ve packed boulders in your carry-on, would it be more painful to cart them around forever or would it be easier to gather the strength to pick those giant rocks up and throw them out of your luggage?
Sure, at the moment, the second option will be more painful and strenuous, but then they are out of there. However, to carry them around, continually with this weight, you could develop long-term injuries and damage to your muscles. In releasing them, you have no more heavy boulders to carry, making your arms and shoulders sore.
Once you get rid of the boulders, and even the occasional rocks and stones that make their way in, you are freeing up space for more Light energy to come in.
Some of the best ways to release and cement the energy in is by clearing the energy in your home, through dancing or by singing.
Freeing up this pain right away allows more room for you to feel happy and loving, more often, too. Thus, the further you move along your soul contract, sure there will be painful periods when met with a boulder, but all the other times, you are expanding, feeling joy, feeling love, and feeling more space for happiness. Here is a guide for space clearing if you’re looking for one.
As you expand to allow light in, more and more emotions are released from you.
You are releasing and letting go of old friends and partners.
To follow your soul contract with integrity and honesty, you find that it’s hard to lie. It’s hard to lie to yourself, because you are listening to what your soul tells you, and it’s hard to lie to others. You don’t want to lie to yourself, and not walk your path for the sake of pleasing others, and you also don’t want to lie to others by hiding in a shell that you wish to shed. Old friends and partners that you once felt comforted by may not accept the direct path you’ve decided to walk, and perhaps contest it, or convince you not to.
Soul contracts are sometimes out of our control and one of the best ways to handle them is through surrendering to the moment, dancing when the times get tough, taking care of yourself, and being easier about letting go.
For more articles on letting go, boundaries, and happiness, check out these posts:
Amanda Linette Meder
21 Jan 2018