A soul contract, is the sacred contract you made with your own soul, your Spirit, for the development for your being. To move yourself from a lower state of energy to the highest state of energy. To move into the the path of love and truth. It is the path of learning and growth.
Each lifetime that we experience, we get closer and closer to walking in alignment with this path, and we move farther and farther away from the darkness that keeps us from it. This darkness, while experienced in each life, for some more prominently than others, is what we are continuing to shed.
If you have decided to walk the path of truth, integrity, honesty and love - or if you are thinking about right now, making one of the hardest decisions on your life, to honor your own path and how you deserve to be treated, you may be asking yourself,
Why is following my path so painful? Can’t it be easier to walk in the light of my path? To follow my divine calling? Why am I always losing people and things from my life? Becoming estranged from those I love? What gives here?
And finally, you may be wondering,
Is it even worth it?
In order to follow your soul contract, you are, by design, learning lessons that bring you closer to the truth, to the light of who you are, and moving back to your pure state of Self. You are like a rubber balloon being filled up first, surround by other party balloons still un-stretched in the bag. Filling up the first balloon with air, with Light, is always the most difficult.
You are, the very first balloon you will ever fill up. Your lungs are going to get tired, your cheeks may hurt, and you may ask why you even thought having balloons would be a good idea in the first place! No one wants to be the one to blow up the first balloon, but boy, once they are all full and floating, doesn’t it really lift up the place? Don’t those balloons really make a birthday party feel like a birthday party? They do. And at some point, someone has got to sit down and start blowing air in, stretching balloons and doing the hard work to get them filled for the party.
This beautiful party, is your life, filling up the balloons are the work of filling up and lifting your own spirit, to create a better, more joyous life for yourself.
In preparing for, and in throwing your own party, you are always given 2 options. Neither are the easy choice, in both options, you will encounter some degree of pain (this is life, after all!).
Option A: Avoid Filling up the Balloons.
Soul contract lessons are like crossing off Xs on a to-do list. These are your chores, the things that need to get done as you prepare for your party, as you decide, how you are going to live and how you want to be. As you teach others how to lift up themselves, and blow their own balloons, you, my friend, are the one who picked up that check list and started marking things off.
While others, are thinking about the list, avoiding the list, and it grows. It gets bigger, it’s harder, there are more people to call, as the list of lessons grow longer, others who are avoiding preparing for the party are sinking deeper into feelings of not being prepared, not having the qualifications to throw a party anyway, and in some cases, simply deciding to cancel the party altogether. Depression and sadness may sit in, as this lack of movement and feelings of inadequacy grows.
- Have you ever wanted to quit your job, and the longer you waited to do it, you found yourself feeling only more trapped?
- Have you found yourself wanting to break up with a partner in the early stages, only to stay and find yourself stuck with someone you didn’t really like all that much?
- Have you found yourself tolerating a friendship that was becoming negative, but to spare feelings, you stayed in this relationship, only to wish you had new friends who appreciated you?
I have. And these experiences too, are painful.
This pain is, in a way, your soul’s motivation for you to change. A mild ache, a slow grey pain, is like standing under a rain cloud, with sunshine right next to and available for you, if only you would move out from under the cloud. This rain cloud appearing in the first place, is not an omen, as much as it is a motivation to get back into alignment on your soul’s path - start standing in the sun!
Imagine having a favorite Mexican restaurant, and every day, you went there for lunch and got the same thing on the lunch special menu. Eventually you started feeling experimental, and wanted to stay something new, like sushi or Thai food. So, while at your old hot spot, you decided to go somewhere else for lunch tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, and you found another restaurant, but it’s too far. The bus doesn’t go there. They don’t have the same dish you always like. No one else wants to go with you. Your coworkers are all going to the favorite spot. You don’t want to be left out. So, you go back. Each day, your soul wishes to find a new restaurant, to try some sushi for once, but for fear of the unknown, you continue to visit the same spot.
Even in this example, you are, on some level denying yourself from the wishes of your soul, and just as a child might cry out for attention, your soul cries out for attention as well. This pain, in a way, is your soul crying out to you, “Please notice me!”.
In following this path, the one of no-change and resistance to it, you will experience mild, continual pain, that of a baby crying and weeping, of course, but you will also deny yourself the experience of feeling true happiness, true joy, and true love in your soul and for yourself.
The more and more you begin to honor and notice the callings of your soul, even at the smallest level, going to a new restaurant when you feel adventurous, the less and less of this mild sadness, apathy, and depression you’ll begin to feel.
This pain, again, is your soul calling out for your attention. It’s purpose is to get you back to your sunny path of sunlight. Into your vortex of Light. To aspire to your calling.
So, what could life look like if you decided to fill up the balloons and prepare the party favors?
Option B. Fill up the Balloons.
Say you do decide to follow your path, learn your lessons and check out the party-to-do lists as face-forwardly as possible. You’ve decided if you are going to live at all, you may as well follow your heart, aspire to live your truth, and release, let go, and let in. You are walking the high wire.
You’re quitting jobs, leaving friends who are weighing you down, and telling people how you feel. You are filling up balloon, after balloon, after balloon, and you are feeling accomplished, happy, and joyous, yet at other times, you feel tired, and like you have hardly put a dent in all the balloons, all the soul’s lessons you need to learn.
And then BAM, it hits you. Your best friend doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. Your job wants you to resign, a polite way to fire you. And you’re feeling lost on this yellow brick road.
You begin to feel sad again, like maybe you shouldn’t even be doing this in the first place. Maybe you should just go back to the way things were, before you decided to walk your path.
It was less painful then.
But, it was also less fun and adventurous, then, too.
There are more ups and downs on the path of following your soul contract. You are winning at things, and then you are failing at things. You are meeting new friends, and then you are losing friends. You are taking three steps forward, and two steps backwards. You are gaining new things, skills, and knowledge, but you are also letting go.
The pain, in following your soul contract, is in the letting go.
We are each born into this life with layers of an onion, and as the seed from within us grows, the old onion petals dry up and fall off. Like a lettuce growing from the ground, as the lettuce grows, eventually, the outside leaves will need to be plucked off and tossed in the compost. They are too big, too old, too woody, turning brown, dying and not useful to our growing parts anymore. As you grow, your external layers fall off of you, and the living center of your Soul gets bigger, brighter, and more scrumptious.
At one point, the outside layers of your lettuce, protected you from demise of the chipmunks, especially when you were small and growing. But you are so big at this point, you can protect yourself from the chipmunks. One little bite won’t kill you now, as it would have before, but those outer leaves are taking away resources - and they are dying anyway. Why not pluck them off, put them in the compost pile, and thank them for a job well done? Letting go of your leaves is a lot like releasing something that helped you once, in the past, but then realizing it doesn’t now. This is sad, because you have to reflect on who you were in the past, too. These leaves used to serve you, they helped you grow, but you can’t save the dead layers forever, at some point, letting go of them, will provide more service to the universe, than it will holding on to them.
Thus, following your soul contract is painful because you are releasing and letting go of things all the time.
You are experiencing and releasing emotions all the time.
Following your soul contract, you are chopping off old leaves left and right, and this means, releasing. You’re releasing emotions from the past, releasing things that bother you from the present, and choosing to live more in the moment. Why be angry for the whole day at something that happened 15 years ago? Or 5 minutes ago?
Many times, this means you are releasing very heavy painful emotions that you have been carrying in your suitcase for a long time. If you’ve packed boulders in your carry-on, would it be more painful to simply cart them around forever, or to gather the strength to pick those giant rocks up and throw them out of your luggage? Sure, in the moment, the second option will be more painful and strenuous, but then they are outta there. But to carry them around, continually with this weight, you could develop long-term injuries and damage to your muscles. In releasing them, you have no more heavy boulders to carry, making your arms and shoulders sore.
Once you get rid of the boulders, and even the occasional rocks and stones that make their way in, you are freeing up space for more Light energy to come in. Freeing up this pain right away, allows more room for you to feel happy and loving, more often, too. Thus, the further you move along your soul contract, sure there will be painful periods when met with a boulder, but all the other times, you are expanding, feeling joy, feeling love, and feeling more space for happiness.
As you expand to allow Light in, more and more emotions are released from you.
You are releasing and letting go of old friends and partners.
Often times, to follow your soul contract with integrity and honesty, you find that it’s hard to lie. It’s hard to lie to yourself, because you are listening to what your soul tells you, and it’s hard to lie to others. You don’t want to lie to yourself, and not walk your path for the sake of pleasing others, and you also don’t want to lie to others by hiding in a shell that you wish to shed. Old friends and partners, that you once felt comforted by, may not accept the direct path you’ve decided to walk, and perhaps contest it, or convince you not to.
This, is out of fear, for what they themselves feel they are capable of, and also, fear of being alone. Even if you are not physically leaving anywhere, as you change to alignment of your soul, your soul is lifting and lightening. So in a way, you are leaving - you are moving up. Does this mean you are better than anyone? No, certainly not. It just means you are on another level now, standing on a different platform. Moving on your soul path, is sometimes like you moved up to Varsity, while you can still appreciate what the Junior Varsity team did for your growth, you simply can’t hang out with that team anymore. You’ve got to start bonding and making friends with the Varsity players, since, you are one now.
So, many friends and partners may discourage you, yell at you, or berate you, and this is painful. Of course, you thought they loved and supported you through thick and thin, and here you’ve come to find they don’t. This is painful to learn at any stage, but wouldn’t you rather know sooner than later who loves and supports the desires of your soul? Those who do, are the same who honor the desires of their own soul. Those who don’t, are often those, who neglect their own Spirits from within.
Thus, to follow your path, you must release things and people who weigh you down, so you may move to the next level. But don’t worry - you’ll make new friends up there.
You are learning the meaning of unconditional love.
This is the beautiful power of loving the Spirit of another being in complete wholeness, independent of yourself and your own happiness. Loving someone no matter what they do, where they are in life, or who they choose to be with. Which often times, means, loving someone but not being with them. Choosing to walk away from someone that your soul loves, because you also love yourself. Knowing that you love someone, and can love someone, eternally, but from a distance, is the true meaning of unconditional love.
To want only for another what they want in their own hearts, what they desire within themselves. To not push on them your own meaning or insist that they must follow their path with you. Often, when we walk our soul paths, we walk down different trails, meeting those that we love at the crossing in the woods. While we can stay in the crossing, embracing each other forever, often, we must finish our own trails, on our own.
Sometimes, the trails unite and continue together, and other times they do not, but appreciating the beauty of another’s soul, in full honesty and integrity, can be painful. Because when doing this, you realize, I cannot walk my own path, following the path of another and this person cannot walk my path, to meet the challenges of their soul. This can be very sad, realizing there is love that exists for you, but that it can not be. Many times, the pain of finding unconditional love is the knowing that it cannot last in the physical world forever.
But wait! Not so fast . . . .
Once you have loved someone, in unconditional love, your soul always acknowledges the beauty of this other Spirit - no matter what distance, or realm. There are other lifetimes, in which the two of you may be together, as well.
And the beauty here is that once you have experienced this with one person, it can be experienced with any person - unconditional love, meeting others with the intention to honor and respect the beauty of their soul, independent of yourself, is always a possibility for you.
Win! Experiencing this sadness, and learning the truth of and experiencing the meaning of unconditional love, means one thing and one thing only:
You are now open to experiencing this love with many more people.
You are realizing sooner rather than later the things in your life that don’t serve you.
As you follow your soul path, you are walking in the Light of your truth, aligning to your inner glow, your sacred light tower that stands within you, shining out your beauty from within.
You begin to cast a light on the world around you, as you are now, forever holding a flashlight. While you were once able to turn off the truth flashlight, and deny what you knew as real for the sake of comfort and safety, and maintaining ‘the peace’ in the world around you, your relationships, and in your life, you no longer have the ability to do this. You have rechargeable batteries, and your flashlight of honesty and integrity never shuts off.
Thus, your perceptions and interpretations of the situations you are in and surrounded by, become more accurate, and are harder to lie to yourself about. Also, the harder it is to lie to yourself about the truth of something, the harder it is to lie to others, and you find yourself either holding back your voice to spare feelings, or simply, stating the truth of how you feel and what you perceive. Unfortunately, hiding how you really feel and think forever is a lot like holding the lid down over a steaming kettle - eventually, it’s going to start screaming.
While you were once able to happily go along “not knowing” if something is for you or will work out - now, more often than not, you know the truth right away, because you’ve got your soul flashlight shining on it. And it’s hard to not see the spider web on the wall, with the the spot lights in it’s direction. So, you find yourself needed to deal with that spider, while others might simply ignore it, not seeing it, due to the low-lighting, and their flickering flash lights.
Thus, you realize and see the truth of a situation before others, it’s like standing in the street, watching a building catch on fire. If you were in the middle of the building, it’d be hard to tell what started the fire, but now, here you stand, observing the truth. Knowing the reality. You’re the first on the scene because you’re more aware now.
Sometimes, seeing the truth is very hard. Reality can be very hard, because it’s not what you wanted or expected it to be. And while others can go on, blissfully skipping along with their headphones in, ignoring the hard truths, you can’t do that.
You can’t lie to yourself anymore. The good news is, you know sooner, rather than later, about situations that are turning sour, and can avoid the spookier paths. You can also see the hard truths for others, and share them with people who need to hear them the most. Most people can’t see the truth if it was standing in front of them, thus, they need someone to shine a flashlight on it, and point out the spider.
And oh, look, your Light never turns off!
In the following or not following of your soul contract, you will encounter some pain. However, on the first option, of never preparing for the party, you not only miss out on experiencing deep, painful emotions, but also joyous, intense loving ones as well. On that path, the meaning of unconditional love is very rarely found - because who can find a gem hidden beneath all the dirty old onion layers? It must be peeking out, sparkling from below, to be found and united with another in search of the same treasure.
Yes, there are more highs and lows on the path of the soul contract, but it, is ultimately leading to more love, more light, more compassion, and more joyous energy. It is leading you to shed all the layers that prevented you from uniting with the beauty of your soul, so that you may find others to appreciate and unite with your soul as well.
Releasing and letting go is always hard. So is losing and failing at things. But, if you never sign up for the race, you’ll of course, never lose the race, but you’ll never have a chance at winning it either. How can you ever find out what you are good at, if you also don’t identify what you are also bad at?
In finding our strengths, we are releasing our weaknesses. Both internally, and externally.