Psychics, healers, and intuitives tend to have difficulty in love. I've written this article to help shed insight on what has healed this issue for me.
When I was 19, I had a boyfriend who played college football. He was three times larger than me and one night while I was fast asleep, he broke into my apartment complex's administration office, stole keys to my apartment, and took off for my place with a single mission:
to determine if I was cheating on him
It was two in the morning and I was fast asleep.
Waking up suddenly to a slamming front door, I was sitting up in my bed by the time he got to my bedroom door, when he broke in and grabbed me out of the bed by my hair.
You cheating on me?! Tell me now: You cheating on me! he yelled in my face.
Fast asleep only moments before this, I assumed the answer was obvious.
With nothing to go on but my non-startled response, he dragged me out of the room, out the front door, and down the concrete stairs without pants or shoes on, in the middle of the night, in November.
By the time I hit the bottom, I was bleeding.
I'm okay now. That guy eventually went to jail, got kicked off the football team, and then he moved back to Texas with his mom.
This is not my life today. Not by a long shot.
But . . . sharing this snippet in time from my life provides a keen example of what my love life looked before I became a professional medium, before I accepted my gifts.
My love life went on like the story above for several years after that, until by the time I had turned 27, I had sworn off men for two years, moved twice over the lines of two different states, determined to figure myself out.
A year after that, I found my soul mate.
Today, I am lucky to say my soulmate is a glowingly gorgeous man, who supports my business and gifts, listens to my spirit stories (at times against his will, God Bless him), and he loves my dog. My sister says he's the only man I've ever dated with a pure and generous heart and my niece thinks he's the silliest, funniest person to be around on all of God's green earth.
It's true, he's a catch.
The only problem is: we don't see eye to eye a lot of things.
He's much more of a yang person than I. More left brain about things, more logical and more what I call 'physical earth focused.'
He takes care of all safety issues on our property, organizes our finances, and he loves his NFL Sunday. He also fixes up vintage machines for fun.
All of these things really interested me about him. He was exotic.
I'm much more of a yin person. More right brain, more intuitive and more what I call 'spirit world focused.' I take care of all the support issues people need in our life, help make big decisions, and pay attention to the soft energy around our home. I pick out different crystals for the front yard for fun. This is something that really interested him to me. My mystique.
Highly sensitive people tend to attract people who are much more yang than they are.
It balances out all their yin.
When you are dealing with someone who lives, works, and breathes what they do, like I do, then it's a whole lotta yin that's gonna need balancing. It's going to take a lot of yang in a person to equalize everything.
In other words: a very masculine person.
Before I did spiritual work for a living, I thought I wanted someone a lot like me for my soulmate: someone more emotional, more sensitive, perhaps someone who sensed spirits themselves so we could talk all about it. Then I kept choosing the wrong guy. The wrong guy. After the wrong guy.
Psychic mediums are on one end of the spiritual spectrum - the far right.
To balance that out, they need is someone on the other pole, someone to help them lighten up when they get too emotional or introspective, and help them come back to earth sometimes. Someone to remind them to enjoy their physical body while they're here. Someone to help organize their life. They need someone on the far left. (If you're reading this and you aren't a medium, but you do energy healing, this applies to you, too. And really anyone who does intuitive work).
You are sending out unconscious signals for this person all the time.
This is the person who will help you heal, help you become a better person, and help expand their worldview. This is the person who will help you grow.
Right brain and left brain people coming together to help each other grow doesn't mean they will love each other the same way, or respond to situations in the way you would, but they do it in their own way.
Whenever we clash on an issue, which happens less frequently now because we've been together a while, we have to always remember why we were attracted to each other in the first place:
because we loved the other person's worldview
If we forget this, which we can, things can get pretty polarizing, (pun intended) pretty fast. But when we remember, we can understand and respect the other person's process a little better, and make better decisions together, as a unified cross-spectrum team.
He's got the logistics and the safety covered, I've got the foresight and the feeling covered. We're a total package, really.
When you are in a relationship, the benefit is that not everyone has to hold every hat anymore. When it was just you, this is the case, but in a relationship, no more are you the jack of all trades. You can specialize and get extra good at your speciality.
Wouldn't it be great if someone else (who really enjoyed it, actually) could plan your trips, if that gives you anxiety to even think about?
And you if could be the one who helped relieve the stress for everyone by explaining the greater meaning of a family conflict?
Choosing a yang partner if you are a yin person will do this for you and it's what many intuitive people have to consciously do to find true love.
I've met other psychics, channels, and mediums who've made the same choice as I (chosen someone uber yang to match up to their yin) and BAM, there it was.
The Perfect Balance. The Unity. The Respect.
They simply decide to walk away from the old path of seeking, because it just wasn't working. And BAM there is the soulmate.
This is how it worked for me, but not until I reached my final straw.
By the time I was 27, I had reached my final straw in seeking partners more like myself. The last one I had insisted I abort an unborn child of mine because he claimed fathering it would ruin his life, then, he took $1,600 from my bank account and flew off to the middle east, never to be heard from again.
I'm not joking, guys. This actually happened. I was devastated. Ask my friends.
Anyway, I stopped having trouble in love when I decided to try dating someone a bit more of a yang-focused. And by a bit, I mean really yang.
At the time I met my soulmate, I was living in the woods in an isolated cabin in the Sierra Nevadas, giving psychic readings all day, and otherwise floating around the woods with just the belongings in my car and my dog.
My soulmate was living in center city Philadelphia, going to work via subway for his daily 9-to-5 and working in the media industry managing high-level projects.
Were we opposites? Absolutely, yes.
Two fireballs crashing together, him and I.
But these days, our lives are a lot different.
We both work from home.
We live right on the edge of a city with a back up to woodlands.
We both do a little project managing and we both do our fair share of floating around in the woods.
Will my soulmate channel spirits with me at my next seance, though? Probably not, no. But I've got girlfriends for that.
What he will do is help me decorate my channeling room with the coolest, one-of-a-kind vintage art pieces he can find, barter for me for the lowest price on rare mediumship books at local flea markets, and listen to my spirit drama for the entirety of a 5-hour road trip.
Now that's love.
Amanda Linette Meder
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