What A Hot Pink Bra Taught Me About Accepting My Flaws
When I was in my twenties, I worked for a large government organization.
At the time, I was the only woman on my team and one fine day, I scheduled a meeting to propose a really great idea to my male boss.
I set the time, the day, and when it was right, I walked into his office fully prepared, feeling super confident.
Yet, no sooner did I put my legal pad down, did I notice that he had been staring straight at my chest from the moment I'd walked in.
Looking at him confused, he stumbled and muttered,
"Your button...uhhh, your bra...it's showing."
Everything slowed down. Time seemed to stop. And I, in that frozen pause, looked slowly down.
Indeed, my hot pink lace Victoria's Secret number was showing, as it appeared my blouse button had, at some point in the day, popped off.
Mortified, face flushed, I got nauseous, and everything in the room got reaaalll swirly.
I composed myself, told him I needed to get something at my desk, and raced out of there.
I drove off on my Vespa and never went back.
This event happened 10 years ago, but it still creeps up into my mind as one of my major life mess ups, the memory of it never failing to rear up on days when I am feeling especially bad about myself.
Not checking my blouse before going into my boss' office, running out of the office in shame, then quitting a few months later....all of these things I look back on and say,
"Boy, I really screwed that whole thing up."
True, there were a lot of things I could've done differently that day and in the months that followed.
But since then, I've had other opportunities to learn from this 'lil repeating lesson of mine.
Lessons repeat themselves in other ways until you get them, and as much as I would like to be, I am not excused from this one major rule of the Universe.
There have been countless times since that event, where my proverbial hot pink bra has reared its ugly face again.
Times when I had food in my teeth, not realizing until much later, after heavily flirting. Nailed that one.
Times when I published a blog filled with BIG ideas, feeling super proud, only realizing much later that my typing editor repeated the words "are are" in the first sentence. Omg.
Times when I was giving a reading to a new client, and rather than saying "I'm hearing Lung Cancer" and relaying exactly what I heard, I slipped up because I was rushing, and said "She's saying she died of Lung Cancer," consequently messing up the whole reading. All because I put the word died in there. Dang it!
As a psychic medium, a human, and an online writer, my proverbial pink bra shows, all the time these days.
People are human.
Even psychic mediums.
None of my blogs, will ever show the full scope of an entire concept of an argument, because it's a blog, not a book. There are word limitations when writing for online, and simplicity limitations when writing for larger audiences. There are typos, because it doesn't matter how many times you edit something, there's always more you don't catch. There are dead links. There are coding errors. And yes, people do point these things out to me.
people are trained to see flaws.
It's true, we are biologically primed to see 'what's wrong' in a situation, primarily so we can protect and guard our own safety.
But due to modern culture and the human drive to be right, this natural tendency to correct everything that's not perfect has bled into all areas of our lives.
People correct, change and want to fix things about other people in cases where no one's safety is at stake.
As a psychic medium now by profession, in the work I do, people's safety is rarely at stake.
In my business, there are no life or death emergencies, because as my mother says . . .
"The worst has already happened. Everyone is already dead!"
Yet, one of the biggest fears of a psychic medium giving readings is they'll accidentally slip up in a reading and their proverbial pink bra will show.
For mediums, when this happens, it's not just a matter of making a correction, it's a matter of someone calling you authentic, or someone calling you a fraud. And in the past, this was a life or death situation.
In the past, though guys...IN THE PAST.
However, by now, this fear has become so far ingrained, both generationally and socially in mediumship culture, that a lot of psychic mediums are now straight obsessive about perfection on the job.
Always training, always learning, always growing, most psychic mediums never stop developing their abilities, in fear that if they do, one day, they'll lose their edge and that blouse button will pop off in front of a boss - ending their career for all time.
Did my career end when my blouse button popped off that one time? Or any of those times?
No. Not by a long shot.
In fact, I went on to work for one of the most famous and one of the most highly respected nonprofit organizations in the entire world - the San Diego Zoological Society.
Looking back on it now, the situation guided me to move out of a working environment where people looked at my chest first rather than at my ideas, and into an environment where people paid to hear my thoughts and ...looked at my face.
I moved up, and I moved on.
To Grow, We have to Find the Beauty In Our Flaws.
When someone points out a flaw or misstep of yours, this is not an invitation for you to wallow in your mistakes for the next 10 years (though it may feel like that), but rather, it's a teaching lesson.
Our missteps are opportunities for us to grow, to ask really what is important, and to laugh.
No one's perfect, after all.
And too many people take themselves too seriously.
We're all flawed, that's why we're here - to learn and grow, and to become better people.
BUT we can't do that until we can learn from our situations and see them in more positive lighting.
So after 10 years of holding onto it, I think I'm ready to let my proverbial pink bra thing go now.
Want to look at the situation more positively with me?
This proverbial pink bra lesson has taught me to seek employment opportunities in places where I am respected for my ideas, and not in places where my body is the main focal point of attention. It has taught me where I can move up in how I respond to things and what I need to move on from in order to grow -
For example, saying thank you when someone points out an errant typo, rather than getting my feelings hurt and feeling exposed, or if it's a repeat thing, knowing when to it's okay to walk away from people who only see the typos.
Furthermore, too often I spend money on nice things that no one ever sees or gets to appreciate besides me and coincidentally, on the day my bra was showing, it happened to be the nicest one I owned.
So, if someone is gonna get to see my flaws anyway, at least they'll be getting them served up on a silver platter. Right? Right right.
And there you have it. Bada-bing, bada-boom. Done.
Over to you now.
Do you have a proverbial pink bra-like lesson that's been repeating itself?
If so, how can you reframe it so you can see it more positively?
Let's move on together.
Amanda Linette Meder
Amanda Linette Meder is an online writer who runs blog on mediumship, spirits and intuition that sees 2 million new viewers every year. Her favorite part is her blog's membership program, where training psychic mediums join from around the world join to develop their gifts, build their businesses, and support each other.